deecee -- kudos to you! IMHO I think you handled the situation well. Officials have different "tolerance levels" when dealing w/ coaches who are clearly frustrated or angry. The key is to do what you did - be the calmest person in the situation. You gave him a couple of chances to calm down and got out of there when it became apparent that he was only interested in yelling and not looking for an explanation.
Others will say that you gave him "too much rope".....I think the T should be the last resort after you've tried all of you other options.
As for handling visibly irate coaches, I think you need to explain that you're happy to answer questions or discuss a specific call. However the coach cannot scream and cannot make large gestures (which only incite the crowd and team). Keep in mind that you're NOT going to change their minds or convince them you're right. You're really trying to "talk them down from the ledge". I try to explain what I saw, use non-commital language ("I understand", "I hear you coach", "you're still in this game", etc), and then give him space. If he's still coming after you, "you've made your point; let's move on/we're not going to discuss any more". Lastly the stop sign....and ultimately the T. That's what I try to use. It's really a gut-feel thing; some games are better off w/ a T, while it's generally best to avoid them if you can help it. Sometimes you can't.......like your situation above.
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