[a4caster]

My deepest appreciation to all of the replies. Life is kind of funny; the other night I wrote this, and a few days past, and I have a good potential to pick up some games this year. The biggest thing I have done recently is just find peace . And sitting out a few games and just resting has done that.
To clarify some major points...

"Do you have a mentor? Do you attend camps regularly? Have you ever asked anyone for an honest evaluation? Have you ever talked to one of your assignors about your ability or where you stand?"

I attend two to three camps yearly. There are some great refs that I talk to regularly and they understand my situation. They honestly seek opportunities for me, but sometimes others have more pull. As far as an honest evaluation, everyone says "great game" but I can't get anything further than that. My pessimistic side says that's so those in power can keep me down. That sounds cruel, but we all have these people.

"I'm curious, how did you achieve the highest level of the state without working V games? Did you not have to be evaluated and recommended by other certified officials? Your state must do things differently."

In our state, we have a closed-book part 2 test and ratings from Varsity coaches and certified officials. Back when I got promoted, I had more games, so I was able to work those games. Every time after the games, the coaches and refs said I was going great, but go figure.

To all, thanks for the encouragement. One of these days, the answer will come and all will make sense. But sometimes, one needs to vent, and I appreciate your support during this time. Have a ball on the court (sorry, I couldn't resist :>)