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I feel your pain......
This kind of thing tends to be more of a problem at the MS/JH level and you have to stop it early.
I try to be proactive - if before the game I see more than one coach, I ask explicitly who is the head coach, then tell them right then that they are the only one allowed to stand to coach. The first time an assistant stands when they shouldn't or starts to get mouthy, I tell the previously identified head coach "Get your bench under control". Next time it happens, immediate T and now no one from that team gets to stand.
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