I don't think that your partner was correct in this particular situation, but if you read the following rule and give it some thought, you will see why he told you what he did.
RULE 4, SECTION 18 FIGHTING
Fighting is a flagrant act and can occur when the ball is dead or live.
Fighting includes, but is not limited to combative acts such as:
ART. 1 . . . An attempt to strike, punch or kick an opponent with a fist, hands, arms, legs or feet regardless of whether contact is made.
ART. 2 . . .
An attempt to instigate a fight by committing an unsporting act toward an opponent that causes an opponent to retaliate by fighting.
I don't like this rule for reasons such as your situation. What if the kid who ran off the bench, A6, got all the way to the players and punched B1 in the face? The rule would seem to apply and B1 would receive a flagrant technical foul for fighting instead of a normal player technical foul for committing an unsporting foul. This sounds ridiculous, but we had a similar incident here last season and our state office contacted Mary Struckhoff in Indy and was told that is the correct application of the rule and the intent of it.
BTW, since you seem like a good guy who is working hard over there in Korea and someone who seeks to better himself, I'll let you know that the word you intended to use in your post is "defer":
intransitive verb : to submit to another's wishes, opinion, or governance usually through deference or respect <
deferred to her father's wishes> Inflected Form(s): deferred; deferring
Take care.