[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett
Try this Davism next time, Juulie:

Howler Monkey: Look at the fouls. We've got nine and they've got only four.

You: There's a simple explanation for that. Your team has fouled nine times and their team has fouled four times. You see, we match the foul count to the number of times a team has fouled. For instance, if your team had fouled ten times instead of only nine, then the foul count would be ten to four, instead of nine to four. It works the same way on the score. The score count is reflective of the number of points each team has scored. I know that sometimes that's a difficult concept to grasp, but I've tried to explain it plainly.

See, coach. That's how it works. I hope that clears it up for you. If there's anything else you don't understand, just ask. I'll be just as helpful.

Then puke on his shoes.

Mark, I like it, but you are correct, it is a difficult concept for a coach to grasp. Coaches still cannot grasp the concept that officials do not care who wins and who loses the game. If coaches were smart to grasp this concept they would be officiating instead of coaching so they would not have to worry who wins and who loses.

My response to a coach's comments about team foul totals is this: Tell you players not to foul.