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I have no problem with throwing a simple (for lack of a better term) T for a comment like that regardless of it being directed at my partner or myself. Nor would I fault anyone for considering it flagrant.
The question I find me asking myself is this, "What kind of comment could a coach or player for that matter say that would be so 'extreme or persistent, vulgar or abusive conduct'(quoting 4-19-4) that would I have no choice but to consider it flagrant?"
I think it would come down to the situation, context, and my prior relationship to the individual. All of it subjective.
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