[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

Jeff, you're right that it's important for each ref to size up the situation and the personalities in each game. Sometimes a tough guy style works well, and sometimes it backfires. The same with a nice guy approach. Personally, I find that I can't go too far in one direction or the other, and I try as hard as I can to stay very, very neutral in terms of confrontation and appeasement. But that's just what works for me. In this game, the more styles a ref can use, and the more types of kids she can read well, the better the reffing will be.

Ultimately players want to play. Sometimes you have to let them know that if they want to play, they need to knock off the BS. How you reach that conclusion and what you say is going to vary greatly based on the experience you have and the type of game you are working. I know some players approach me when they would never approach my partners. Knowing this you have to say sometimes let it be known they need to move on. I cannot tell you what to say or what not to say. I also cannot tell you what is appropriate. As far as I am concerned if we do not curse or use totally inappropriate language, we have the right to tell players what we need to so they will comply. If they do not comply, you do what you have to do.

Peace