[SAump]

Let me relate what else I observed on the diamond. The catchers would dig a little hole behind the plate. Well, the pitcher would bowl one in there every so often. These miserable catchers didn't block it with their leg guards or catch in their glove. The ball would hit the back of the hole and bounce straight up into the old UMPS's buckeyes.

One of my partners was also tagged in the NOIDS by an uncaught pitch. His cup provided some protection. However, it wasn't enough. When he came back two weeks later, he brought the cup to show everyone the damage. We looked at the cup but passed UP the personal medical exam. I suppose if he were a she, I would have shown more interest. Luckily for me, my own experience with a shot to the noids was less painful. I immediately adopted a survival strategy to deal with these isuues.

1) Protect the entire arm by placing the hand in the small of the back. I know some members of this board have objected to this particular "speed skater" stance. If it is aerodynamically benificial to a speed skater, then it can be medically beneficial to an umpire.

2) Use the legs guards beneath ONE to block that HBP. I brought my legs beneath me, and shoulder width apart. I curtsy (w/ respect for my family jewels) and rest my right hand on my knee for additional support. My legs are already conditioned to absorb this stress and the fatigue factor is minimal after the ballgame. I am able focus on the strike zone and hustle out from the plate.

Any real soldier would quickly understand the positive aspects of the new stance outweigh any negative condescension. The best news is that I haven't taken a serious shot in over two years. My left arm provides support for my lower back and my knees are no longer stressed by my weight. I continue to take games at this level and I notice that my equipment is now paying back my original investment with dividends. I see improvements all around.