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Good morning,
I'm of the "less said the better" school. I try not to get into debates with players or coaches over calls. If a player wants to ask a question respectfully about a call, yes I will give them an explanation. If they want to debate about how wrong I am, then I'm out of there. I'll try not to let anyone know verbally that I'm officiating to the score, even though I might be.
As far as the other situation with the girl and the handshake. Yes, shake her hand. Otherwise you may appear rude. If she does what she did, Whack her. If you do, in that situation it is also an indirect T on the coach. She became bench personnel when you notified the coach of the DQ. Now you don't have to deal with a coach up and in your face. He now has to follow the bench decorum rule(make sure you tell him).
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