Quote:
Originally posted by Time2Ref
Coach, basketball is only the tool to help these children. It is not the end to the means. You already know that. It is obvious that you are an educated person. (I'm not entirely sure that you aren't still trying to "work the refs", right here on this forum). Are you trying to win basketball games (and help your own situation) or are you trying to help these kids?
You wrote:
Ultimately, my kids know they are the ones who have to adjust to a different culture if they want to be sucessful. I always worry when they put their faith in the system and it doesn't seem to work for them. I know this may seem like a small point but a lot of my kids are not sure it's worth it to "act more white." A lot of little rewards help.
You know that you must teach these kids that life isn't as simple as "Do these things and you will live happily ever after". That's how fairy tales end, not real life. The answer to bigotism cannot not be solved on this forum. There are poor white kids too. You must teach them it is not "act more white". That is just an excuse, a cop out. When you allow them justify that remark, you are doing them a great dis-service. There are sucessful African Americans. There are Angalo-Saxons who are losers. When you let color enter into the conversation as a valid excuse, you have lost the battle. You must stop that as soon as you hear it. As you know, you don't brush it under the rug so that you can gain their trust. You stop practice, you sit down and have a discussion. You show them that they could do everything right, and still get the short end of the stick. That's life, no matter what color you are. But you must try to be sucessful. That a Black person must act "White" to become sucessful is B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T..... It's a society we live in. White people have to learn to "Act" a certain way also if they want to be sucessful. To be sucessful in Buisness, I had to act like a buiness person. The President of the company I worked for was Black. A college graduate. He taught night school part time. I am sure that he had a lot more going on than I even knew. He wasn't "ACTING". He was/is sucessfull because he set high standards for himself. Perfection cannot be obtained, but it makes an excellent goal. I could write pages, but the issue will not be solved by my ranting on and on.
I would suggest that you decide what it is you are trying to do. Once you decide if you are helping yourself or helping the kids, your solution will become clear.
The lesson is not "If you do the right things, the right things will happen to you". The lesson should be "You must try your best to succeed. It won't be easy. You will find roadblocks at every turn. It is up to you to overcome the hurdles. You only lose when you stop trying. Don't expect a secret potion, don't trust you future to a lottery ticket. Don't fight the opponet. Don't fight the officials. Fight the world, and win. You must continue to try, even when the cards are stacked against you." But, I think you already know this.
Oh yeah, what does Bill Cosby say about this matter? See for yourself.
http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewSpecialRe...20040702a.html
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Let me say from the outset, Time2Ref, that I think you have misinterpreted the purpose of my post and the main point I was trying to make. However, your willingness to engage on this topic with passion and intelligence is very much appreciated an deserves a response in kind.
Communication is a two-way street and a forum is not necessarily the ideal, um, forum for a complex topic but I still don't understand the idea that I'm here working officials or advancing my self-interests. Maybe if someone ever explained the mechanics of how this benefits me rather than just offering it as an accusation I could take it seriously.
As far as allowing my players to use race as an excuse for their behavior - I agree with you 100% on this and would also like to point out that there was nothing in the example I gave of my players' behavior that requires an excuse. In fact, the opposing coach offered after the game that of all the teams she had faced this year our team showed the best sportsmanship. This was a meaningful compliment to my kids. Not like the official who was working our game for the first time who went out of his way to come shake my hand after a game and said with a surprised tone, "your kids are sooo nice." While we were going over to shake the opponents' hands my captain quietly asked me, "coach, did he expect us to stab someone?" Nice guy, good intentions, low expectations.
Yes, these issues are not simple and there are no fairy tale answers. Which is why I don't just ponce on my kids when they express the idea that they sometimes feel like school is asking them to sell out on their friends and family - their culture. This is not just about race, this is about familiarity and seeing friends and family go through high school and college and get a good job based on that experience. My kids don't have that familiarity and don't understand all of the rules and customs that people who are inundated with those role models take for granted. Can this be an excuse? Hell no! The stakes are way too high and NO ONE besides my students is going to take full responsibilty for their lives.
A recent study by The Schott Foundation found that more African-American men are now receiving their GED from prison than receiving a college degree. You better believe my kids are learning the rules, the guidelines, the stakes and what to do with their excuses. There are some legitimate feelings in what students are expressing when they say they feel like they are selling out or having to act more white and I've worked damned hard to create an environment where they feel safe saying it. They are usually expressing it in the context of understanding that the adjustments they are making are a necessary step on the road to success. I'm going to help them process these ideas in a meaningful way and I'll be damned if I'm going to chastise them for having them.
They also aren't waiting for racists - well-intentioned or malicious - to stop being racist. It's not really fair that the victims of racism also have to be working the hardest to end it but who ever said life was going to be fair?
I didn't post here to ask a quesion (though I sometimes do and wouldn't hesitate to), and I didn't post to bag on the refs in our game - I had my opportunity to communicate with them and I blew it. I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I, in any practical sense, still give a rip about the call I referred to in the example. I posted here because it drives me nuts when people - intentionally or not - create an insiders' club by switching up the rules to suit their whims when some people, because of numerous factors which may include race and economics, are working damn hard to learn those rules while also learning about algebra, business, etc..
No one has to assume that's what happened in the example I gave. In fact, let's throw my example out the window and just say, "please beware of assumptions about what it's OK to let slide in a game and for what reasons because our own cultural assumptions often kick in." I also could have given a dozen more examples from games and from the road to and from games that would have been even more inflammatory.
What is my agenda for this post? For one or two people to read it and say, "hmmm . . . that might be a point I hadn't thought of," among the litany of negative responses that it will elicit. As a side benefit, I might get to push my own thinking or learn something new by posting with someone like you who cares enough to engage. Maybe I might get a word of encouragement from someone like Rainmaker so I know I'm not just pissing in the wind.
[Edited by bebanovich on Feb 28th, 2006 at 06:55 PM]