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Just some advice for what has worked for me when I've coached, as far as working the refs.
"Good call, ref". "Nice game, ref". "I hope you get assigned here again."
After awhile, you stop worrying about every call. You realize that half the time you were going to yell, there's a turnover or a different call that makes your complaint moot.
Then you realize that the "bad calls" tend to even out anyway.
Finally, you notice that your players are playing better because you are coaching them instead of complaining constantly.
Try officiating for awhile and see how you respond to coaches "working you". It's sure to help your perspective.
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