Coach,
I'm a two year official in basketball and football but am not new to the "game" you're describing. As a father of three grown children and now a grandpa to one, I've had ample opportunity to coach as well as be a stand-in umpire in the old days of little league.
Both of my daughters were State Champions as sisters on the same HS team in volleyball and went on to have their college tuition paid for by their athletic and scholastic abilities. I also helped coach their traveling
VB squads for AAU and national tournament play.
Bottom line? I know how to work refs. I've done it. I've earned it. I've gotten the 50/50 calls to maybe fall my way and I've been totally ignored other times.
When something was really missed, and I mean really missed, I would be short, quick and explosive and then let it go. Believe me, a ref knows when he blew a call and it happens. It's happened to me but we go on.
It doesn't need to be dwelled upon for three periods as everyone knows what has happened.
I don't post often here any more since I'm running out of daylight by days end, but I sense many different philosophies from many different thread participants.
Suffice it to say, whatever we are paid is nowhere near what should be paid for the amount of garbage, we as referee's put up with every year. On the other hand, we are expected to do a fair and honest game.
How many times have you seen a ref miss a call which you want, but then allows *your player* a little slack at other times? Is it fair? Probably not. But it can be considered a part of the 'game management' techniques.
My advice to you is, if you want to "work a ref" be short, be succinct, make your point quickly so as not to be perceived as 'showing up the ref', then sit back down.
Toss out a "nice call" or "good catch there" even though his/her call went against you. Be honest with yourself, your team and your officiating crew.
I'm not the best ref out here, in fact if I was considered within the top 50% I'd be happy, but I have much work to do. What I am though is fair and honest. I don't believe any of us explicitly go after a coach or player, we may watch for soemthing due to a reputation, but we don't hunt it down. Or at least I don't.
If I blow something or something happens to which my partner and I aren't sure of or have experienced, rest assured I'll do what I deem to be fair and appropriate. It may not conform to the rule technically, but it will be fair to all parties concerned whether you believe it to be or not.
We are short of officials in our region, mainly due to coaches, parents and lately players thinking they are bigger than the game. And since we are short of officials, often I'll work with another official who only has a few years under their belt as well.
Yes, work the officials in a proper, respectful manner and you'll receive the same treatment in return. Reap what you sow.
But since I have coached for so many years, I persoanlly give coaches quite a bit of slack, and they just don't bother me or get under my skin. I do know the difference between "working a ref" and showing one up or being disrespectful to one. And I will T one up if need be.
After reading this thread, I believe you already know what you're doing, right and wrong, when it comes to the treatment of refs.
If it was your son or daughter out there, how would you want another coach to treat them?
Do unto others my friend...
[Edited by WyMike on Feb 7th, 2006 at 04:50 PM]