[lmeadski]

If I understand the question, I read it to be: What is the best way for a coach to interact with refs. As refs, we enter games wondering what kind of temperment the coaches, players and fans will have that night. As players and coaches, they wonder/feel the same way about the refs (unless it is a ref they are familiar with...and I don't feel you should ref a team TOO MANY TIMES in a season): do these guys call a tight game, a loose game, etc. During the course of a game (and usually very early) we refs learn if a coach is going to try to WORK us. We also learn if a coach is willing to WORK WITH us. Coaches who treat the refs respectfully (notice, I didn't say agree with every call) and have taught their players to do the same thing (don't you feel that respectful players make our games MUCH easier, even if their coach crosses a line or two..) I feel are doing all they can with the refs to help their team win (in respect to the refs). I will say, a coach who isn't in my ear some, I have to wonder if they are even in the game! So, work with the refs, dont work them. Sure, ask questions about calls you wonder about, don't throw out rhetorical questions like, "You going to call them both ways, ref?" Comments like that imply we might be calling the game unfairly or unevenly. Every ref I know, their whistle is color blind. They only see the fouls and violations, not the color of the jersey's committing them. However, ride me like a cheap pony and my disposition may not be one of giving you the benefit on a close call.