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I find it very odd that an 18U tournament would have one exception to pro rules, a mercy rule, but not a malicious contact rule. If I were going to run a tournament with only one exception to pro rules it would be malicious contact. But I digress, back to your situation.
As soon as this crap starts tell the coach you want it stopped, get out your book and write down that you gave a warning for bench conduct/sportsmanship. When coach says he wants you to "show him where they had to stop" show him the warning you wrote down in the book and tell him there's his warning, and you will not put up with bench jockeying, and you expect him to take charge of his bench. When play resumes get the first person who does it again, and you may end up getting the coach when he comes out to argue. I don't know what you mean by "the others in the dugout let me have it", but if any of them said anything PPP (personal, profane or prolonged) then I get them too.
What happens next depends on your situation, and whether appeal is upheld. If the appeal is upheld you are dealing with jerks, and I don't know why you would want to go back. If not, it depends on what your assignor wants you to do. If you are working independent, then I don't know why you would want to go back. But if you go back don't take any crap from this guy.
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