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Between innings, you should have been on the other foul line. Don't make it easy for him, go where the tension is less. Your partner had his say, and promptly headed out to the outfield. The coach did what was required, and was not ejected. When he made his comment, you probably could have ignored it. It's ok to let them have the last word.
As for who goes when it's time to dump someone, that's done for control purposes. If you pick an assistant instead of the manager, a sub instead of a starter, you demonstrate what they can expect without hurting them too much. But certainly you should not feel like you cannot eject someone just because you can't prove who the actual culprit was. If a player complains after he's tossed that he didn't say it, just tell him that he should complain to the guy who did.
Mike
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