You will definitely have the dogs on you now:
Lastly, remember that when a player legally gets the ball in the lane, the count is
suspended until the player does something with the ball. That is, they can fake and dribble
and eventually take a shot without the violation being called. However, if after taking
excessive time in the paint, they then pass the ball out to a teammate, the call should be
made immediately.
That is about the opposite of the way I will call it. If a player is in the lane for a couple of seconds, then gets the ball he/she better not be faking and dribbling or I will make the call. If they are making a move to the hoop, no problem but any other crap and they are going to get the call. That is exactly when all eyes are focused on the paint and everybody in the place is yelling "3 seconds", which almost makes me want to lose count, but I think it has to be called in that situation. I agree with everything else you said about finding the ball, and preventative officiating to give the player an opportunity to not violate. What's that somebody sez, Peace.
