[JRutledge]

I have literally done several things to handle complaining coaches. Here are some things I have done that have worked in differnet sitauations.

(These have no order, just some things I have done)

1. Stand directly in front of a coach---Most coaches do not have the heart or the courage to say much to you when you are standing directly in front of them. Doing this also shows that you are not afraid of them. Most coaches complain because they feel that they can intimidate you. Stand directly in front of them (when play or time permits it) makes them put up or shut up. This also give time for you to quietly address them without it being a shouting match.

2. Use a timeout-----Use this rarely but usually works especially if both coaches are getting out of hand. When the coaches call a timeout and both are paying attention. Or you can even so so right after the timeout, call both coaches over to the scorers table area, and tell them what will and what will not be tolerated. Keep it brief and afterwards walk away without giving a response to either coach. Your purpose is to use this as a warning. If you do this, this should be the last resort before giving a T. If coach or coaches do not heed the warning, then do what you have to do. Never be afraid to T a coach for complaining all night. Use this only to prevent one if you can.

3. Ask this question---"Coach are you questioning my integrity?" Only do this when a coach is question you all night about "foul counts," "calling it both ways," "being fair to our kids" or anything that suggest that you are favoring one team over another. I started using this last year and used it a few times. Each time I used this statement, the coach changed their behavior. And usually they apoligize for what they have said previously. Most coaches realize that if you precieve that they are questioning their integrity, they are calling you a cheater. And they know that you have every right to give them a T if you are a "cheater" by his/her words.

Now these are things that have worked for me at different times in cetain situation more than once. These have worked for me, but you might find that they do not work for you. But always remember, if the coaches roll the dice, they just might crap out. So your tolerance might not be my tolerance. If you feel that the coach has crossed the line, do not feel bad for pulling the trigger. They will learn next time to be careful in the use of their words the next time they comment and the next time they see you. And your T might change behavior down the line for another official they see. Remember, if a coach is on the lower levels, he or she is learning just like you are. They might not realize what the line is because no one has told them or pointed it out for them. So if you feel it necessary to take action, just make sure you do it with little emotion and a clear head.

Hope that helps

Peace and Good luck.