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I'd like to think I would have said, "Well, I'll tell you what - we're the only guys here who are wearing stripes and are licensed by our state to officiate this game. If you've got a mouse in your pocket with some gear from Honig's, feel free to send him out there with four of his buddies. But you're either letting us go on the field right now, or we're going back to the locker room and then going home and you're unlikely to have a game tonight unless you're going to go on the honor system all evening. The choice is yours."
And I wouldn't have hesitated to pull my guys out, at least temporarily until there was quite a bit of butt-kissing on somebody's part. I wouldn't want to deprive the kids of a chance to play, but I'd sure as hell get my pound of flesh from the jerkoff coach, and then I'd never accept an assignment at that school again in this life or the next.
That just don't fly.
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"And I'm not just some fan, I've refereed football and basketball in addition to all the baseball I've umpired. I've never made a call that horrible in my life in any sport."---Greatest. Official. Ever.
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