[Adam]

To me, reading the original post, I'd have a T. I have a lot less tolerance for talk between opponents than I do between teammates. To me, given the context, it looks quite similar to having said, "You gotta move your feet, B1tch!" That gets a T in my game.
Now, the question is whether I would accept a casual tossing of the "n-word" from one black player to a black opponent. At the very least, I'd address it with the coaches at the next dead ball.
I'm not likely to have two teams that are 100% black, and I'm only slightly more likely to get two teams that are 100% white. Unfortunately, we do have to monitor this stuff.

And yes, substituting "boy" for the "n-word" will get the same penalty from me. Any term I recognize will get nailed. If I don't know what it is, I'll have to judge by tone anyway. I'm not concerned if something slips by me, but if I heare one, my conscience would force me to do something.