#7 T your partner. Give each team one FT and then use the AP arrow to determine who gets the ball.
#6 Tell that complaining coach that he should be employing a 1-3-1 trapping defense and that they need to get #32 open on the left wing for a jumper. Follow it up by telling him that since he is officiating, you have decided to coach.
#5 Actually call a multiple foul.
#4 Call a blarge by YOURSELF. The signal for this is one hand behind your head, the other one goes on your hip. Otherwise known as the "I'm a little teapot" signal.
#3 Enforce the uniform rules listed in 3-4 to the letter.
T every violation.
#2 You take one coach's box and your partner takes the other. The two of you work the whole game from there, switching on every foul, of course. Tell the coaches that you have come to agree that they really can see everything perfectly from there, so clearly it must be the best location from which to officiate.
#1 On your way off the floor, give the winning coach a big hug and a kiss!
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