[ren0901]

...there is no rule (House, Pony, or otherwise) that specifically pertains to spectators giving signs to players. There is a House tournament rule that states, "Each team is limited to 4 adults (non-players) in the dugout. Other than being in the coaches boxes, coaches/managers must remain at their dugout fence, between the dugout openings". Pony Rule #16c - Managers and Coaches, states, "Players, managers and coaches shall remain in the dugouts, on the benches or in the prescribed areas throughout the game. Pony Tournament Rule #T-13b - Managers and Coaches, states, "The field manager, assisted by the coach, shall direct the team on the field of play and shall be responsible for the conduct of players both on and off the field"...

...ordinarily, I'd agree w/your point #2 about not looking for trouble because it'll end up finding you. There's just something that doesn't seem fair about this. And where would it stop: one could imagine having a spectator/coach for each player, positioning them on defense, swiping signals for them on offense, etc. To me, there's a distinction between coach and spectator: by rule, coaches can't coach outside the field of play. Should not the reverse apply to spectators?...