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When you're a spectator, you're just a spectator, although your "view" is definitely colored by your experience as a referee. But you have only one avenue open to you, which is to talk to the coach of your kid's team. I'd do this first, so that if something does come down, your coach will be in the loop and not feel left out. If you talk to your coach, he/she may also have gotten similar complaints from other parents, and that may consitute a stronger report than if you complain directly to the association or to that school's AD.
Your coach should complain to the governing body, either the league or the state athletic association. If the AD at the offending school has heard it before, he obviously doesn't care, and if he hasn't, he'll just dismiss you as a crackpot. If your coach goes to the league and says, "We've heard this repeatedly in several games, and several of our parents are very concerned" it's got a lot more chance of bringing about a change. And I wouldn't let the coach mention that any of the parents are referees. That doesn't matter. It ought to concern everyone regardless of their training in officiating.
I agree with you that "Take her out, take her out" is offensive and out of line, especially if it's said only when the girls have the ball. Even if they say that it's only calling for a slide tackle, to call for that only against the girls is to advocate very dangerous play indeed. Girls' ankles are generally much more fragile than boys' and to deliberately suggest injury seems pretty over the top to me. "Take her/him out" seems pretty extreme even in basketball whether for boys or girls. It has definite connotations that are not acceptable, regardless of the sport.
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