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2 and 3 - softball is a live ball sport. Don't kill the play. Just watch what your supposed to watch on your way back to the plate on 3, and on 2 - the umpire is not the 10th defensive player... if catcher cannot get the ball back to pitcher without your help, they need a new catcher.
A lot of these mechanics questions differ at the younger ages. At high-school level, they better know the count. At 10U - sure, point to first and say take your base if necessary. These girls are learning.
4 - don't coach. There are rules regarding interference by this batter. If you help one team avoid interference by telling her to back away, and don't help someone else - you've just unfairly harmed one team.
5 - if the league allows it, allow it. If the boneheads can't coach from just 1 foot farther away, but with the added protection of a fence, and the bonehead gets hit... whose problem is that. Also - remember that coaches are responsible for those buckets. If the ball hits it, it's interference of some sort if the ball is live.
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