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I think you've already got your answer to the first dilemma. Don't do THAT again!
As for placement of runners after you corrected the erroneous call . . . put 'em where they should be, absent the wrong call. Use the argument to the offensive coach, "Hey coach, you should be happy you've got two runners at all! All I'm giving him (the runner heading to 2nd) is 2nd base. Let's play ball."
Another thing to keep in mind . . . the 2nd baseman certainly knew he missed the tag; didn't he? If so . . . he could have thrown to 2nd base for the force anyway; regardless of what YOU called. Certainly don't let the defense bully you into placing runners where it's to THEIR advantage. They should have made the play obvious enough so an umpire doesn't need to make a decision.
BTW . . . is this Dan?
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