Being a staff member in a juvenile correctional facility, I can tell you this is one of the institution's mainstay philosophies:
(Paraphrased)
"The residents are sent to the institution for bad decisions, they are not bad people."
Of course, we still hold the residents totally accountable for their actions; in a palatable approach.
Understanding this, you have to be able to separate the action (comment on the "Call") from the personal attack!
For example, as a staff member, when confronting a student about a negative behavior (As a coach percieves a "Bad" Call), you make a comment, "Johnny, you need to stop yelling! It is not considerate to others. (This addresses the behavior, just as the coach chips "Bad Call", etc)". Just as it is not acceptable for a staff member to make a verbal attack on the resident, "Johnny, STOP YELLING! You're soooo stupid!", it is not appropriate for a coach to verbally attack an official with personal statements.
One more observation on this:
If a resident does not change his conduct with one type of intervention it is time for me, as a staff member, to change the approach. Likewise, a coach that does not realize his "chips" are not effective needs to change his approach.
As an official, you need to respond progressively; establish your threshold, give the "universal sign" and/or a "T" to help them understand.
Does this help?