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You're entitled to your opinion. At the same time, this evaluator had watched/observed 6 games I had worked over the past 3 weeks (including one other official written evaluation). Outside of a couple of minor mechanics/positioning mistakes, the duties I had consistently been the most inconsistent as far as game management had dealt with handling the coaches/bench (box and allowing an assistant to stand during the game that we didn't catch, as well as our crew allowing a coach to yell at us without any of us at least putting up a stop sign).
Knowing that the evaluator was there, knowing that handling coaches/bench has been my major weakness in the eyes of my evaluator, and still not whacking the coach was going to be treading on thin ice with the evaluator. However, when he came in and said he agreed with not sticking him in that situation because of the entire situation (animosity, hostility, degree of sportsmanship and effort that the kids and coaches had displayed throughout the entire game, all in one), made me appreciate the fact that our evaluator agreed with our decision (each of us individually, as we didn't have time to concur about the situation...thankfully, all three of us working are very level headed).
Also, I'm not the type of official that gets intimidated. I'm friends with the majority of coaches around this area. That is probably one reason I don't have many needs to be throwing out T's, because most coaches don't get out of line in my games. They know when I'm officiating I have a job to do and I will do it. If it means in order to do my job something negative will go their way, they know something negative is coming their way. They know they can't expect any preferential treatment (if I'm their friend but not friends of the opposing coach). At the end of the game, whether they win or lose, they know I was only doing my job, and they know we'll still be friends.
In fact, in the game that has been discussed, I'm a lot better friend with the coach that didn't point his finger at us than I am with the one that did. And that fact never crossed my mind in the moment the situation happened.
I can tell you from a coaches standpoint, because I've been there, when it's crunchtime and the game is on the line, I don't want anything that could be even the slightest bit controversial from an official to be handed to me. I prefer the official to stay out of the way and let the players determine the outcome, just as I did when I played (any sport).
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