My advise is don't look for reasons to explain calls. If you have something funky fine, but I'm not intitating ANY explanations for judgment calls.
If a coach has a question, I'll give something during a dead ball or on the fly, but I'm NOT explaining on statements, and I'm not explaining EVERY call.
A coach going to the explanation well more than a couple of times is getting the, "Time to coach your players and leave the officiating to me," warning.
The coach in your post was using all the coaching tricks, he was working you, questioning you, he even went with divide and conquer when your partner beat you to the timeout explanation.
If I'm working that game with you, I'm whacking him for the name in the book statement, so he can have both our names.
You will suffer for a hands off approach, because coaches will view it as weakness. They will see it as either arrogance or you are intimidated, and will use both against you.
If you are not good at focusing on the play and communicating with the coaches at the same time work on it. There is nothing wrong with saying, "I"ll talk to you at a more appropriate time coach."