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WAY too much talking to the coach. They will be just like little kids to test your resolve if you tell them. You must act if the rules are violated and ignore what is petty. While you aren't necessarily there to earn anyone's respect, if the coach's behavior is costing him or her control of their team, then you must act.
I worked prior to any coaching box in HS. I basically only said to the coach two things, other than perhaps answering a question: 1) "Coach, I need you to have a seat." and 2) (if necessary) "Coach, I need you to retain (or gain) control of your team, and I need you to do that immediately." If it got to the point where something else needed to be said, in 9 out of 10 times, it got to the point of a T. And I honestly did not T coaches very often.
The key is to maintain control of the game. You aren't trying to control everyone's actions, but the game and players must be kept under your control. The problem is that once control is lost, scattering technicals like raffle chances may not get it back. Easier said than done, obviously, but you lose control by trying to reason with a coach. That's not your job.
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