Rec leagues are full of problem children. That's no surprise. I think the preventative way to handle the number issue is to just simply look at the jersey. If you have to take a few steps to see it, take 'em. Asking the smart-asses for help is only gonna hurt.
As far as the "T", I was always taught to only give a "T" to help the game. By issuing one here, it obviously blew up into a bigger problem that only hurt the game in the long run.
Bottom-line...Throw it up, call the obvious and get it over with.