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The special coaches that I believe you are talking about bring a high level of intensity to the game. Their comments to their players are always about doing something better or giving more effort on defense. Even if the coach is being critical, he does it in a way that makes his player want to play harder and do better, rather than tearing him down and making him actually play worse.
Comments I hear are "We have to have a better entry pass than that." "We need that loose ball." "Let's be smart."
"You have to step up and accept the challenge to shut that guy down." "We decide when we shoot, not the defense, now move the ball until we get a good look."
I can see the kids respond to this and they play harder and better. The coach inspires his team and leads them, but doesn't scare or belittle them.
He is also the first to loudly praise and congratulate a player for doing something right.
These are the winning programs here.
Oh, one other that I particularly liked, "He's bigger than you, but you have more heart."
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