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For what it is worth, actuary77, I think I called too few Ts in my early days. Almost anything that someone says doesn't bother me (that's "their" problem, not mine). But I now think it's important to use the technical foul to keep better control of the game, to protect the dignity of the game, and to protect other officials.
I don't have "magic words" (although I suppose certain swear words will earn a T, even if used "positively" - e.g., "You guys are the F-ing best officials I've ever seen!" Thank you, but tweet.). But I do try to penalize comments/actions that reflect negatively on the purpose of high school athletics (or whatever level you are officiating).
Also, while I agree that partners should "look out" for each other -- and I agree that you should penalize a dismissive gesture aimed at your partner when s/he isn't looking -- I generally am not watching my partner have a conversation with a coach. I'm watching the players. (Sometimes, of course, you can kind of do both.) You don't want to be looking at the bench and wonder why a player over here just hit the floor....
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