Quote:
Originally posted by ChuckElias
Gloat
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Manny Ramirez is trying to graduate high school. His teacher says if you solve this math problem, you can graduate: What is 14-3? Manny says 8, and the rest of the Red Sox say, "give him another chance, give him another chance!" So the teacher says "Okay, what is 7+7?" Manny says 10. The team members say "give him another chance!" The teacher says, "OK, what is 3x3?" Manny says 9, and the rest of the Red Sox say "give him another chance, give him another chance!"
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Albert Einstein is at a party and he's surrounded by a small crowd of admirers. He introduces himself to the first member of the group, and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "191."
"Wonderful!" says Einstein. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert then turns to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"
She responds, "123."
"Ah!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We, too, have much to discuss!"
Einstein then notices a third member of the group and again inquires about the man's IQ. This time the answer is "62." The great physicist ponders for a moment, then brightens and says, "GO RED SOX!"
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Q: A Red Sox fan and a Patriot fan jump off a bridge. Who lands first?
A: Who cares?
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A Boston native dies and is sent to Hell. The Devil tries to make him as uncomfortable as possible, maintaining a temperature of 100 degrees, but the man does not seem to mind.
"How can you be comfortable?" the Devil asks.
"I used to spend my summers on the Cape," the man replies. "This feels just like June. I can handle this."
"Very well then," says the Devil, and he turns the heat up to 130 degrees.
"No problem," answers the man. "My studio apartment was $2000 a month, so I couldn't afford an air conditioner. This feels just like July."
"Have it your way," says the Devil, and he turns the heat up to 180 degrees.
"Big deal," says the man, still unfazed. "I used to sit in the bleachers at Fenway Park. This feels just like August."
The Devil thinks for a moment, then decides to reduce the temperature to minus-50. At this, the man smiles, and starts jumping up and down and shouting happily.
"What now?" asks the Devil.
"Hell froze over!" the man yells triumphantly. "The Red Sox must have finally won the World Series!"