Dirk,
I'll answer your questions with this caveat, my answers are only in reference to NFHS rules and may be incorrect in terms of your particular youth league. Also, I am not going to issue any comments as to the officials you had working your game as I was not there to observe and it is unethical.
1. 1st I have no idea where that rule is? Any help?
There is no rule that says the snapper cannot be contacted when the QB takes a knee. The rule that is in place is for the protection of the snapper when the offense is in a scrimmage kick formation with one player at least 7 yards deep and there is no one in place to take a direct hand to hand snap from the snapper. It is possible that a personal foul/late hit could be called if the defense hit the snapper after the play became dead. Rule is 9-4-5.
2. said free blocking zone was 4 yds deep and 7 wide
The free blocking zone is 3 yards deep extending beyond and behind the neutral zone. Hence, it is 6 yards deep (lengthwise). It is 4 yards extending towards each sideline from the ball. Hence, it is 8 yards wide (laterally). The zone exists only from the snap and until the ball has left the zone. Rule is 2-17-1.
3. holding on defense was 5 yd penalty while it was 10 on Offense
All holding fouls are 10 yard fouls for both the defense and offense. Offense is rule 9-2-1c. Defense is rule 9-2-3c.
4. we could not have MORE than 7 on the LOS
The minimum number of players allowed on the line is 7. The maximum number would be 10 as by rule you must have someone in the backfield to receive the snap. The rule is 7-2-5a.
5. huddles may proceed with as many players as a team wants - not a timeout near the coaches box, the other team huddled 14-16 players and would break the huddle and the extra players would run off the field- many times 1 or 2 were still on field as the snap occured- no flag,
This year a new rule was established which allows the coaches, attendants and all team members to gather within 5 yards of the sideline directly infront of the team box during timeouts. The old rule still exists that only one coach and three attendants may come to a huddle with 11 players between the hash marks. Rule is 2-6-2a. There is no rule in NFHS about breaking the huddle with more than 11 players.
The rule is that a replaced player must immediately leave the field. This is usually considered to be between 3 to 5 seconds after notification. This is the official HFHS interpretation. The rule is 2-30-15.
One can be a technical official and call it by the book or one can be a good official and call it by the tenor of the game. I say that because if you have replaced players who are attempted to leave the field when the ball is snapped and they are within a few yards of the sideline then there is no reason to flag it. The key to a good or great official is the one who recognizes the unfair advantage and calls it appropriately. If the players were standing on field and not attempting to leave at the snap then it should be flagged. There is really no rule to this other than good game sense.
6. coaches could go out on field to give play calls to the players - again no time out called
During the dead ball period between the end of a play and the marking of ready for play I personally have no problem with a coach stepping on the field for a few yards to instruct or give the play to a player. Again, this falls under the unfair advantage aspect. Is the team gaining an unfair advantage by the coach stepping on the field during a dead ball to give a player the next play and then stepping off the field before the next snap? I don't think so. Now what about the coach who doesn't step off the field and the ball is snapped. I have a problem with this and it is a safety issue. I have seen in the past many collisions between wing officials and coaches on the field in which someone was hurt.
I hope that I have answered your questions about rules to your satisfaction. I would also recommend that you have a discussion with someone who is in charge with the youth league about you concerns.
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"I love it when they boo!"
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