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Taking what you said and envisioning it, I would have given the batter first base. I do not consider holding the bat over the plate a strike unless there is a motion toward the ball or I determine he really thought that's where the ball was going to be. Next, he had to have abandoned his attempt to swing by ducking. Forget whether the bat went past the plate, he's got to avoid, and if he ain't swinging, it doesn't matter where the bat goes in his effort to move. So to first my batter would go (and to first he went when I had a very similar situation a couple of months ago).
As for the second ejection: sounds rather shaky to me, but I suspect that either your partner was feeling a bit uppity, or you're missing a part of the story between him and and player.
-Craig
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