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As an official, I always find it funny when people think that the refs are in the pocket of one of the teams. Most often, especially in tournament type games, we've never met or even heard of the participants in the game. Cheating on behalf of one team undermines why all of us have become officials in the first place. Name one person who became an official solely to help out a MS girls team win a tourney game. If that wasn't the goal of becoming an official, then why would anyone compromise everything they believe in to help win one game?
I play semi-pro baseball and we had a similar situation to the one you're describing in terms of the perception. We were on the road, and were on the short end of several close calls by the same umpire. Naturally, the guys started complaining, calling the guy a homer, even though in my opinion the guy got all the calls right. To his credit he continued to call 'em as he saw 'em and wasn't impacted by "working the ump." However, when our coach tried to question a call, he was greeted with a stop sign from across the field. This gesture was standoffish, and it fueled my team's suspicion that this ump was biased. Eventually, some bench players were ejected, but I think that it could have been avoided if the umpire simply allowed the coach to make a reasonable argument and in that way, acknowledged us in some way.
As this relates to the basketball situation, perhaps the technical could have been avoided through better communication, or at least it wouldn't have been a shock if you were acknowledged, but it seems to me that the fact that the officials tried to ignore you fueled your anger even more until it got past the breaking point. By the way you described the scenario, you probably should have received a technical for your actions earlier, but it could have possibly been avoided with better communication.
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