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First of all I think you did the correct thing. During the play there is nothing you really could have said that wouldn't given someone an advantage. If you said "We need to finish" the def could have caught on that off. never touched the plate. I have at times as listed below on a bunt that lands right on the plate said "That's a good ball, we need to do something". You are 100% right you could not tell the def. coach about the missed base I think telling him what you did described the reason you did not call the runner out, and that was your job. He was asking why she was not out, you told him. Knowing she missed the plate is his job to know and properly appeal.
And I had 1/2 of the foul ball situation last night in a varsity game. Girl hits a ball 2 feet in foul territory toward 1st base with the most back spin I have seen in a long time, well it hits rolls back fair, 1st base picks it up throws to first (F4 covering) for the out. Batter is still standing in the box, at least 1 team knew what to do!!
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