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IMHO, the coaches behavior as you described was clearly out of line & the T's were warranted - especially at this age group level. Not much you could have done to avoid it, and letting him get away with it would only encourage similar or worse behavior in the future.
What is it with some 6th grade girls coaches? Two seasons back I was working a holiday tournament (yes, 6th grade girls...) - team B was getting handily beaten & their coach wasn't taking it at all well. Mid-2nd quarter he let out with an loud expletive that caused me to assess his first T. Then late 3rd quarter when one of his players tried to cut between two defenders standing maybe a foot apart, he came onto the court screaming at my partner that there should have been a foul called on the resulting contact - earning him his 2nd T.
My partner went opposite side and I approached the coach and calmly told him that he was disqualified and would have to leave the building & that his assitant would have to take over coaching duties. His beligerant response was "what if I don't leave?" - so I calmly advised him that if he didn't leave promptly his team would forfeit the game - then asked the tournament site manager to escort him out of the gym.
Early 4th quarter during a dead ball, I just happened to catch some loud, rude comments from the stands - looked up & there's the ejected coach sitting with a couple dads - looking right at us & smirking. I immediately declared the game forfeit in favor of team A, then gathered all the players from both teams & made it clear that it wasn't anything they did, but that sometimes adults just couldn't behave themselves and we had to stop the game as a result.
What happened afterwards floored me - several of the moms from team B came over to us and thanked us for standing up to the coach - said his attitude & behavior was an ongoing problem & it was about time someone called a halt to it. Who woulda thunk it........
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