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ref18
I really can't tell you, nor can anybody else, what your cut-of point should be. To me, one of them sounded like it could go either way, you chose to make it a T, so be it.
I will say that I have watched numerous HS games this winter (probably 35-40), both varsity and JV. Zero Ts. I saw three coaches who really seemed to want to get Td, and the refs did not do it. These refs managed the games quite well in all cases. I would say that they could have chosen to T the coach in any of 6 games I observed, passed every time.
I just watched three state semifinals last night. One was a double overtime game that had both coaches off their seats numerous times over calls. The most difficult one was a foul called with 0.7 seconds left, game tied in second overtime. Call was very questionable, and coach was clearly upset. Trail dealt with the coach, clearly told him to settle down (appeared to be suggesting that 2 FTs was better than 4+possesion!). All in all, the game was not the best officiated that I have seen this year, but they were not quick to T and they let the play on the court decide the game. At no time did they appear to lose control of things, so regardless of what was said or how it was said, they were able to manage the game without issuing the T. A shorter fuse, and the T probably could have been issued.
All of this means nothing with respect to your case because I haven't watched your games. But I don't see that your Ts are the "had to do it" variety from your descriptions. Over time, if you find that your T rate is higher than most, you may want to think about whether you are handling things in the best manner possible. And you may decide that you are. I believe if you consistently vary significantly from what others are doing, you need to reflect a bit and watch how others handle similar situations to guide your own actions.
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