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1) Contact does not equal foul. One of the most important equations in basketball. And in youth basketball, where there is more "illegal" contact than at any other level, this is even more true. This is the hardest level to referee because nobody knows how to play the game properly. And you don't want to foul out every player, which would happen if everything that is technically illegal contact was called a foul.
2) I don't for a minute buy into your politics theory. I don't know how long you have been around this game, but my experience is that the officials always seem to do a more balanced job when you don't care who wins the game.
3) Getting your big man toward the midpost on one side of the lane will open up the other side if double and triple team him - it mnay even be enough space at that age to open up shots in the ball side block. And a pass for a layup or short shot is far better than two FTs anyway, especially at this age. So the advice to use your post man as a passer rather than a shooter is very solid. And teach him how to get good position for rebounds - a big kid at this age will frequently get a lot of calls against him.
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