Juulie - sounds like you had a fairly passive partner through all this. Imagine if you were doing the game with someone like me or Dan. What I mean is that when you are the "veteran" official in your crew, you must be decisive and make your rulings as if you really mean it. I think it was OK to confer with your partner, but perhaps the way to approach it was to tell the coach that, even though it was a hard foul, the player did make a play on the ball and there was no "intent to injure" (which is my criteria for whether a foul is flagrant or not). You could then have said that you would ask you partner if they saw something you didn't. Then come back and say your partner saw the same thing you saw and that's the end of it.
As for the effect the crowd had on you, being able to ignore it will come as you progress and do more games. Try to put an invisible sound curtain behind both benches and ignore anything that comes out of the stands.
Finally, remember the referees's credo: "Occasionally wrong, but never indecisive."
BTW - I would be curious to know where this happened.