[Indy_Ref]

Originally posted by mikesears
Let me preface these questions with this.

I have three children (Twin girls who are 3 1/2 and another daughter who is 20 months old). My wife and I are expecting #4 in August.

I have two children with one due in two weeks!

My wife does not work outside the home.

Neither does mine!

I am currently officiating three sports: Football, basketball, and baseball. My favorite sport to officiate BY FAR is football.

Then drop the ones you don't have greatest interest in, and only do football!

I do basketball because I enjoy being a part of a game in which I would love to have played but never had the skills. I picked up baseball because I played the game and I had a friend who thinks I can become a really good umpire. I'm going to give up baseball because I don't enjoy it. Too slow of a game for me.

You are not helping the image of fellow officials/umpires by merely staying in "just because". Get out before you come to hate the respective sports!...and before you get burned out on ALL/ANY officiating and, God forbid, start to hate your favorite sport--football. I have been asked to join football crews & baseball crews. I just say "no". My focus & love is for basketball officiating...and I'm sticking only to it for now.

My wife understands my desire to advance in football and grants me a lot of leeway.

Then concentrate solely on this favorite sport and be the best you can be!

She doesn't complain too much about the basketball or baseball because she gets to spend the money I earn for the games on anything she wants.

That is NOT why you should be in it!!!! Or why she should tolerate it!!!!!

How do you manage your family time? My kids are always in bed by the time I get home so I don't get to spend much time with them.

I try to stick to no more than 3 games/week. If at all possible, I try to make it home by 5:30 to give my wife a 30-minute break before I leave for the night. I make a point to take my wife out on dates at least once every 2 weeks. I kiss my kids goodnight before I leave. I tuck them in when I get home. And finally, I talk to my wife about the happenings of the day...if she's still awake when I get home. I keep her as the focus of our marriage!

Do you have a spouse that complains about the time that you are gone and if so, how do you handle that? Have you made compromises? If so, what has worked?

I went over some of these things above. She doesn't complain because she knows I'm an excellent official, plus, she understands my dream of making it to D-I and is willing to sacrifice WITH ME. On the weekends, the kids are all mine for at least one whole day while she "re-coups".

For those of you with older children, does it get easier when the kids get older? How old were your kids when you started?

Can't answer that one yet but am looking forward to hearing some answers!

I may renew my license in basketball but not do any games. That way I don't lose any opportunity for promotion.

Mike, don't take this the wrong way, but why should YOU be promoted? Why shouldn't some other official who is out there making family sacrifices, working his tail off, get promoted BEFORE a guy like you does?

Would you want fellow FOOTBALL officials doing this? I suspect not! If I were a football official who decided to sit out a year, I would not be so unrealistic to think that "...if I just stay licensed, I'll keep my place/rank..." What if you were the offical ranked just under me...working several games a week to improve, and some assignor/observer comes to you and says, "Mike, you've done a commendable job, but so & so is ranked above you. And since he sat out this year, I can't move you up in the rankings because..."

Step out for a year. Concentrate solely on football, and revisit basketball & baseball after taking a year off. Maybe your football officiating will improve ten-fold as you will be concentrating solely on football?!?!

Good luck!