One of my first girls games ever I was administering a free throw and I said, "two shots ladies." After the game, the evaluator got all over me.
His input was, "we don't ref girls or ladies or boys or men. We ref players. If you just use the term players, it'll make life easier." It's always worked for me. If I need to get the attention of a particular player, I just say their number. "Hey thirty-two, please tuck your shirt in."
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