As an official I have wondered about that on occasion. There has been a game on occasion where one team is playing so horribly that I turn into the guy they look to for what they deem "justice." I have no idea what is taught in my local baseball and football associations, but in hockey we are taught that as refs we have the authority to eject ANYBODY from an ice rink we desire. We also have the authority to suspend the game until police arrive to remove the person. We are also taught to keep our distance from coaches and players in tense situations.
From information that I've learned, a league (or state athletic association) won't take legal action against anybody for these kinds of actions. Players may get booted from the league/kicked off of the team permanently, but that's the only change in their life. Because of this you'll find the occasional news story if you read Canadian news about hockey officials or player pressing criminal and civil charges against players or coaches for their malicious actions. It's not so common in the U.S., but it will become normal if players and fans continue to get dumber as time goes on.
As for what's acceptable touching of an official during a game: I only allow a simple tap on the shoulder to get my attention, and even then I look at the player/coach like they're asking for trouble. If any player were to grab my arm in an effort to make me listen, there'd be no listening on my part but a lot of flag throwing. If I were to be physically assaulted on the field, there would be criminal charges pressed (although I'd probably do it after the game). People are there to enjoy a game, not get so wrapped up in a call that they have to punish another.
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