I think the ridiculous rules the coaches come up with puts there place in a ballgame into the proper perspective.With all their ranting and raving that we all have to put up with,they also come up with the most stupid comments that you can do nothing else but laugh at them.This morning I umpired an ASA 18U tournament in which the following play occured.R1 on first attempting to steal on the pitch.The throw comes down to second ahead of the runner in which F4 had the ball and blocked the base with her foot.R1 slid into her foot and was tagged out by F4.R1 never made it to the bag.Here comes the great part,the coach called time and came out to question the call,telling me he realized R1 slid into F4's foot but THE FOOT IS PART OF THE BASE!!! You dont know how difficult it was not to just laugh at this idiot,but I took the time to politely explain that he was wrong.I guess this can be filed under the same catagory as another coaches favorite,THE HANDS ARE PART OF THE BAT!!!If only they would spend just a little time and open that rule book they are given each season and get a better understanding of the game they choose to coach!! Jeff

I love the cry, "high tag". I called a runner out at 2B who was tagged on the shoulder while sliding, and got the "high tag" bit. "Coach, your runner is still three feet short of the base. And still out".

I had a HS varsity coach INSIST that the infield fly rule was to protect his infielders, NOT the runners.

"If only they would spend just a little time and open that rule book they are given each season and get a better understanding of the game they choose to coach!!"

"Rule book. We don't need no stinking rule book. We know all the rules already."

Bob

Another "Coachism"
 

Here's one for you.....Slight drizzle and when the pitcher releases the ball toward the plate it slips from her hand and hits the on deck batter, Ive got ball one. As F2 is returning the ball to F1 the offensive coach requests time saying she doesn't understand how I could call a ball on this pitch, the coach is beside herself with anger. I explained the ball crossed the foul line out of the strike zone and was a ball. Offensive coach asks me if I saw the ball hit her player and when I responded yes, she insists that I award the player 1st base. I finally get her back to the dugout and I get back behind the plate, as I'm about to put the ball in play, out comes the defensive coach wanting to know what's going on. I tell him that I've got ball one on the batter. Now the defensive coach goes nuts, he wants the player who got hit called out. His logic was that since F1 threw the pitch to the on deck batter, she was batting out of turn and should be called out. I finally get him back to the dugout and resume play.

Michael

In a Little League district tournament baseball game (yes, I know it's a softball board) a defensive coach insisted that the rule book said all players had to wear hats, so he felt the offensive players had to have hats on under there helmets. The home plate umpire (a local) conferred with the 1st base umpire (a local) and agreed that was the proper ruling and made the players wear the hats under their batting helmets.

I was a visiting (3B) umpire filling in for a friend. No body asked me, I just stayed at third.

Gee, 2/3 of the umps were as stupid as the coaches.

Bob

Re: Another
 

I love this one:

Re: Another
 

These are priceless... dumb and dumber.

"only they would spend just a little time and open that rule book they are given each season and get a better understanding of the game they choose to coach!! . . . . . . OR UMPIRE?

OK, my turn. 18U, U-trip Qualifying Tournament, first game Friday. F1 warming up, must be getting ready for NCAA ball for she has that big stride step sideways, drags the pivot foot behind her and pitches back into the batter. I thought that I better get this taken care of before we got into the game so I went out to talk with the pitcher. Said "you can't step outside the width of the plate." "What do you mean, Blue?" So I draw the line in the dirt and say "you can't land completely outside this line." She looks at me with those big blue eyes and says "I didn't know that!"

By this time I've got a couple coaches coming on the field and yelling "what's going on? What's going on!" "He won't let me step over the line, coach." "THAT'S BS. THAT'S ONLY BEFORE THE PITCH THAT SHE HAS BE BE WITHIN THE PLATE. YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT. SHOW ME A RULE BOOK WHERE IT SAYS THAT!" I said that I didn't need a book, that I knew the pitching rules, and that I needed for them to move to the bench so I could get the game started. "WELL SHE CAN LAND ANYWHERE SHE WANTS, AND YOU CAN'T PROVE OTHERWISE." "Well, Coach, you are right; she can land anywhere. But if it's outside the 24" plate width I will have to call an illegal pitch." Now they are really going bonkers. They want to protest; they are calling for the UIC. "Sorry Coach, no protest, and that is in your tournament rules. I said that I was tired of listening to them, to git in the dugout right now or this game will be over before the first pitch.

"Play Ball." And that first step is fully 6" outside the 24" width. Arm out, illegal pitch. One side of field erupts in jeers and boos; snickers from the other side. I probably called 6 or 8 illegal pitches in that first half inning. And the noise was ugly.

Somebody must have got the word to the coaches because they calmed down, and were even nice to me. And F1 moved over a bit, still have the big sideways step, but was now landing on the line so no more illegal pitches.

Interesting sidenote; female (college) coach for other team approached me after the inning was over and said quietly "shouldn't my runners have advanced a base on those illegal pitches?" I replied "yes, but I forgot at the time and I didn't want to inflame the situation any further." She smiled and turned away. What a gem! She had every right to challenge during that first half inning, but chose to keep quiet.

"Now for the rest of the story." Umpires are using 2nd floor of concession stand as a changing area and we are looking out on a game today. Same team is playing, same pitcher, same illegal side stride. From above we are looking straight onto the pitcher's plate. I drew the attention of a fellow ump to the stride foot landing and asked if he would call that illegal. No, he said and then started to explain what things he would call illegal. "Would you not call that because you don't want to, or because you don't think that it is illegal?" I asked. "It's not illegal" he replied. "Her feet only have to be within 24" to start the pitch." (Now where have I heard that before?) When I said that it was illegal he replied "well, if I saw it in the book then I would call it illegal. But I've never seen it there."

BTW, this a a rising star in our association; 7 yrs experience, lots of H.S. ball including State Tournaments, summer JO tournaments, and men's FP leagues.

WMB

Since the only thing this "rising star" needed was to see it in print, did you ever show him page 84 of the 2003 ASA rule book?

Since the only thing this "rising star" needed was to see it in print, did you ever show him page 84 of the 2003 ASA rule book?

No, because the rule book was in the car. But anytime I have an issue in a game, or in a discussion, or on one of these internet boards, I will get out the book when I get home. (Or before I get out of the parking lot, if I am really concerned.)

I will see him this week (we both do Men's FP in the same league) or at a tournament next weekend - and we'll see if he took it upon himself to get educated.

And yes, I was on pg 84 earlier this evening. Just checking!

WMB

Oh the many times I wish I had it during a game! 12U ASA. Two outs. Batter steps on plate and hits a foul ball. I call the batter out for stepping on the plate. Coach (a good buddy of mine) argues that if she hits a foul ball, she can't POSSIBLY be out. I ask him if he has a rule book handy.

Me: "Before I open this to show you, I'll put a pop and a hot dog on the line after the game that I'm right."
Coach: "Double it and you got a deal."
Me: "I'm not that hungry. (Opened rule book: Rule 7, Section 4, can't remember other numbers because the rule book is in the car :D) So..."
Coach: "An ump who reads the rule book... what a novel idea!"

"Rising star"? Seems to me that he flamed out a long time ago. "

"well, if I saw it in the book then I would call it illegal. But I've never seen it there." Maybe he should try freading the rule book.

Bob

OK, my turn!

Dixie girls Belles (16U).
Pitch hits the dirt in front of plate and then hits the batter on the leg.
PU calls dead ball and does not award first base. I discuss the situation. He tells me if the ball hits the ground first, it's a dead ball and batter does not get first base????
BU comes in and he agrees with the PU. I shake my head and return to the dugout.
If this had been late innings and game was on the line, I probably would have wound up in the parking lot.
Got a lot of laughs and disbelief from other umpires when I told the story afterwards.

OMG EMAXOS READ UR RULES BELLES AER 15U OMG OMG















































;D

AA SP:
1) Batter hit roller down 1st base line and follows it to 1st. I'm following him, F3 and F4 collide at the bag. Ball disappears in the crowd or the dust and reappears in foul ground where it hits F3, so I call foul ball. The 1st base coach and others yell that it hit the base. I say couldn't see it and they of course ignore that I'm 20 - 25 feet from the base and say "you need to get down there". Next batter hits a squib to F4, runs 1/3 of the way to 1st, slings his bat across the infield before being putout. I tell him we don't allow bat throwing and his teammates say "don't follow him so close and you won't get hit"

2) Batter swings, fouls ball over the backstop, then loses control of the bat on his follow through. It hits the catcher and the batter wants catcher "interference".

3) Of course, neither team thought they needed to give me a lineup, much less with numbers and last names. One team takes a player out of the game and reports to me that Rick is in for Ken. With only one Ken on the lineup, I write Rick next to his name. Neither bats that inning. Next inning, they say "Billy for Ken". I say Ken is already out, replaced by Rick. The say "no, Rick is catching, but Ken moved to EP". I give up, move Rick to Chris's spot (the original EP), replace Ken with Billy and go on. Not by the rules, but allowing for ........

There are many "rising and setting stars" with minimal knowledge or ability.

I know I posted this one on eteam can't remember if I put them here.

1) Play at plate (ball on the way, ends up there 1/2 second after runner touches plate) Runner comes in standing and touches back part of plate no contact, I get the "she's got to slide" routine.

2) Same situation put R1 at 3rd batter hits to pitcher who makes play at 1st R1 off with the throw. Again catcher infront of plate, runner is way early at plate but throw is off line and catcher moves into R1 as she has just touched the plate (note ball almost hits me in right hand box extended) Coach comes out of dugout insisting I call her out as there was contact. After a good talk he decides it's time to get to the dugout.

3) THIS is the best. Hit to deep right field, I am BU move into infield and follow runner to third. At second ss is standing on outside of 2nd with heal barely touching outside of base waiting for throw from outfield. Runner touches inside corner, never breaks stride never even knew ss was there. Now all is good and as ball gets to pitcher I start to my position, I hear "Blue, if there is no play at second my runner gets 6 feet." I say "What??" trying not to laugh. He repeats, "Ya, if there is no play we get 6 feet." I was laughing on the inside the rest of the game!!

AlabamaBlue,
You know, as soon as I sent that I realized I had the wrong age. I only added that for those not familiar with Dixie Girls divisions. We had combined Belles/Debs teams this past season and I pulled it out of my head instead of looking it up. Of course, you guys know all us coaches just pull stuff out of our heads anyway!!

I was just messing around, don't take me serious whatever you do :)

"Blue, if the pitch hits the ground and gets past the catcher, may the runners attempt to advance"? "Or are there no passed balls or wild pitches if the pitch hits the ground"?

Bob

Okay - here's one of my favorites.

Top of the 1st - full count. Pitch comes in nose high. Ball 4. Defensive coach goes nuts. "Oh come on. That pitch was to close not to swing." "Ump, you've got to open up your strike zone." And then, "Ump, can I have time - I want to talk with you." <i>"Not if it's about my strike zone."</i> "I guess I can't have time then." <i>"Guess not."</i>

-Kono

A passed ball was the first point I made with the umpire. I was willing to forgive the PU but when the BU agreed with him, I figured I better just get through the game and keep my mouth shut. Game was well in hand anyway. Strange but I never did see that pair again all season.

Some of my colleagues work regularly in the PAC-10. One of my buddies told me this story:

Pac-10 game, big rivalry, my buddy is on the plate. First pitch comes in knee-high, outside corner. PU calls strike.

From the offensive dugout comes:


C'MON BLUE, BE CONSISTANT! :rolleyes:

Yeah, I love that, or "call it both ways" after the first out on the bases.

Church League Co-ed on Sunday Night.

Lady 3rd baseman for one team. Runner on Second and First. Ball hit to the 3rd baseman.

She bobbles the ball while trying to field it and make a move toward 3rd base. Guy runner from 2b "SLIDES" into 3rd feet first. Ball gets loose.

Coach of defensive team, "C'mon Blue you have to do something about the contact at 3rd." I turned and said "what are you talking about" to the coach. The coach said that he shouldn't slide so hard because she is a "Girl." I couldn't believe it.

Reply: Mo99
 

I must have umped that coach's twin this evening. Same play - same response comes shooting out at me. He tells me the term for it is "lightning." I lmao right on the spot. I told him when I was a kid we used that term in the neighborhood lot. We would grab a stick and take a big lead off first with the stick touching the base - couldn't be tagged out cause we had "lightning." His response . . . "Exactly, that's why she's safe - the foot is lightning." I actually looked for a hidden camera in the trees . . .

The ones I like are,

"Blue don't you think we had obstruction/interference
on that play?"

"Coach, did I call obstruction/interference?"

glen

Did you actually forget the runners or really skip a ruling just to avoid:
a) sending the coach
b) getting the message to the pitcher sooner? ;)

I couldnt wait to get on the PC tonight to tell everyone this one.Behind the dish in an 18U Girls Fastpitch game when batter ripped a line drive to left field which hit the foul line.Chalk was freshly applied and the line ran all the way to the fence,so when ball hit the chalk dust really kicked up.I pointed fair and batter-runner made it to second base.Here is the good part!!! Defensive coach called time and came out to ask why ball was ruled fair and not foul.I asked him if he saw the chalk fly where the ball hit the line.He said he saw it but the ball hit on the FOUL SIDE OF THE LINE!!!I told him the ENTIRE chalk line is fair if hit.He looked dumbfounded,shook his head and went back to the bench.WOW!!!

Jeff
NCAA Certified
ASA Certified
NFHS Certified

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Andy
[B]Some of my colleagues work regularly in the PAC-10. One of my buddies told me this story:

Pac-10 game, big rivalry, my buddy is on the plate. First pitch comes in knee-high, outside corner. PU calls strike.

From the offensive dugout comes:


C'MON BLUE, BE CONSISTANT! :rolleyes:

I don't remember which board I saw this on:

First pitch of the game.

PU: Ball one

Defensive Coach: C'MON BLUE, BE CONSISTANT! YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!

PU: Turns to defensive dugout and says: Dunno know coach, this is the first time I've umpired one of your games, for all you know...this may be as good as it gets.

Michael

Yes, been there. OH Yeah.
 

Last night. Mens A FP. Bottom of Seven. Tied game. 1 Out. bases loaded. Ball hit to short stop, he bobbles, picks it up and touches second (2 outs). Runner from third scores and instead of throwing ball to first for force and making for a longer game, he runs after R2 who was on second and tags him. R1 on third already scores before tag. PU scores run. Game over. Second Baseman run's up and slams his chest into PU and pushes him backwards 4-5 feet. Teams hate each other and they are now in a scuffle. I force my way through the pile and bee-line for the 2 guys butting chests with my partner. I slam into both of them and push them back 8 feet and boy did they turn into little pansies. They were about 5'6 each and 140 lbs. I am 6'1 and 220 lbs. Then they had the nads to approach us and 8 other umpires after the game and try to get into a scuffle again.

There is indeed something in the air. Many outrageous occurrences over the past few weeks.

I do know that the next time somebody so much as pushes an ump around here, our association is going to see that charges are filed.

I'm constantly aware that, even in a game that seems uneventful, a riot could be only one call or play away. I've seen too many explosions over the years.

In that this thread has gone on for awhile, it's time to add my story.

Last weekend, 14U tournament. Thur/Fri pool play, everyone (fans, players, umpires, coaches) having a good time; getting along great. Sat is Championship day and the mood changes. Fans are yelling on every call, coaches are complaining about strike zones ("Same zone I had Friday, Coach!").

R1 gets too far off 1B and F2 fires shot to F3. R1 starts for 2B, F3 throws to F4, R1 heads back and F4 throws past F3 into DBT. I call DB, move R1 to 3B. Def. coach is screaming "why is that dead ball?" "Cuz I called it dead, Coach!"

Then he wants to see where F3 retrieved ball from and I say OK. (I am really trying to pacify people and get through this day.) F3 walks him to fence and points to spot. Then he cames back to me and says runner should be on 2B. "One plus One" he says. "Base she was going to (1B), plus one."

And then "you don't know the rules; we have played a lot of games this year and that is always the way it it called."

He's not buying my version of the rules, so finally I say "OK, Coach, let's play by your rules. She was going back to 1B so she gets that base, and the next one back." I pointed to home and waved R1 to come in.

Coach turned purple! "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" "You're right, Coach. I don't like your rules, let's play by ASA rules. Two bases from time of throw; she is on third - and you are in the dugout. Right now!"

Of course that runner scored on a wild pitch. Team made many mistakes: F3 threw too quick on the run-down, F4 threw wild back to F3, and F1 threw wild pitch. But it's my fault they lost the game!

WMB

WMB-----

ROFMAO---that was great!!! I would have loved to have seen the coach's face!