Out or not??

[softballmom2]

12u fastpitch ASA tournament. Runner @ third, walked runner going to first. Pitcher had ball in circle, walked runner on first rounded base and proceeded to walk verrrry slowly to second(took forever). Finally the pitcher had enough and threw the ball to second, runner turns and goes back to first(walking....of course runner at third was trying to steal home) This chain went on FOUR times before the SS got smart and ran the ball back to the pitcher and the runners stayed on first and third. Nothing was called in that game. One of the dads said that when the pitcher threw the ball, the rule did not apply?? Next game, same situation, but runner did not have a chance to go back, the ump called her out for stopping her motion? She actually just walked verrry slowly and never stopped. Same ump by the way in both games. My question applies to the first game, this play went on forever and nothing was called. I understand the rule about committing to a base when the pitcher has the ball in the circle but why wasn't it called in this instance?
Just trying to get as educated as possible since softball is our life!!
Thanks