Well,

I'm not gonna feed the troll, he seems pretty much full of it anyway, but......



I MADE THE 100th REPLY!!

And I just made 101. http://eteamz.active.com/softballump...ation_pups.gif
Now, lets argue about whether your reply or mine started the second century of replies!

[Edited by Dakota on Nov 18th, 2005 at 12:00 PM]

Actually, I was thinking more of yours as the "dalmatian" post.

Your post, Tom, began the second century of posts and JEL's ended the first century, as a century must contain 100, and you don't begin counting with 0.

My $.02

OK... there ya' go!

Of all the posts that have been real dogs, this may be the ultimate.

I don't have anything to add to the thread but I felt I had to do my part to keep this one going, so.........

Itsy bitsy spider went up a water spout............................................. .....

I am driven to tears by this post..but I CANT STOP LOOKING!

idiot umps
 

You're an idiot who doesn't have the ba!!s to call the illegal pitch so you joke about it, huh? GREAT!!Give it up & let those who are real men call the game, OK??????? You're doing nothing but hurting those girls who need to be corrected so they can be recruited by good D1 colleges but won't because they are illegal! Get it! Ok, yea, I know...I'm a troll. Sarcasm when you don't want to deal with a real problem!!! GREAT!

Hey, a troll who knows how to spell idiot. What an edumacation!

Re: idiot umps
 

You have no idea who I am or what I do so obviously your posting is not meant to gain knowledge,but to babble about something of which you have no clue. But hey its a free country..anyone with a computer can comment.

I'm a little teapot short and stout

lah de dah de day

Wheeeee.

Re: idiot umps
 

Interesting view into your psyche this post gives. Do you believe that only "real men" are capable of umpiring? I wonder how some of the women, such as Emily Alexander, who have risen to the top of the ranks nationally fit into your realm of "reasoning."

I am also starting to wonder if you had a daughter, or if you yourself, wasn't drafted by a D1 college and felt that you should be, and therefore are looking for a place to lay the blame.

The majority of the folks here, including the last two that you flamed, will call anything that they see happening on the field, and are in fact real men and women when it comes to umpiring. There are several nationals umpires here, as well as several ISF certified umpires. May I ask your credentials?

The next line is: "This is my handle this is my spout."

Do I have to sing the whole thing for you? ;)

No need to help with that,
I thought that since Nubie doesn't know how to play well with others that maybe he would join in on some songs of his caliber.

Every time I see him post, I will offer a song up for him to see if we can't get him to feel included.

You know how it is with little kids, they whine and sniffle if you don't include them.

No, John... he spelled "idoit*" wrong.

* - "Idoit" and all associated paraphernalia, emblems, and logos (c) 2004 Rufus D. Pepper & Associates, Inc. All Rights Reserved.


;)

Crow hop for Thanksgiving
 

Just to keep the thread going...
Happy thanksgiving! We do have a lot to be thankful for, including going out here and almost always being paid for being an arbitrator while folks are playing a game.

I'm grateful for all my partners, even the ones who I might not want to work with. I'm grateful for the players and coaches, even the ones who might gritch too much. Without them, we couldn't do what we do.

I'm thankful I have a good UIC and deputy UIC and a good Regional UIC, and lots of others who mentor and watch and keep me in line. They know I'm not just blowing smoke up their a$$. They've given me a lot of opportunities, and I'm grateful.

Oh, and I'm thankful I have a boss who lets me off work whenever, and a wife who almost always understands.

And I'm thankful to have made YOUR acquaintance. My world is better because of you all.

Re: Crow hop for Thanksgiving
 

OK John,

You trying to start something or what?

Ditto your thoughts EXCEPT....

My wife ALWAYS understands. About a third of the games I call are with her as my partner!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Buddy

What a great way to steer this thread! I often times find myself feeling so fortunate to have had the opportunities I have had ( and hope to continue having ) in softball, and SO blessed by the acquaintances I have made through umpiring. It is something I have thoroughly enjoyed for the past five years and I plan to continue the enjoyment as long as I am physically able. Being able to call many of my games with my lifetime partner, my husband (Buddy), just helps make the games more fun, and I am thankful "the rulebook" helps to keep me straight with rules, as well as continues to question my "questionable?!" calls.

Re: Re: idiot umps
 

HELLO ALL! WANNA PLAY??? Anyway, "guys", it's a generic thing, not thinking "Men" as only the males..females too, sorry meant anyone who umps! So, which umps out there have the guts to call any illegal pitches? Hops, leaps, elbow too far away from the body? Or don't you know the pitching section of the rule book? Have they changed those rules you "guys" male/female, (OK?)don't call yet? hum? Hope they do, since you won't call them anyway. I wonder why they made an illegal pitches section anyway, does anyone know?

I wish I could get my wife out there. Kinda funny, she was the recreational arts major, I was the poli sci/history/journalism (yes, three) nerd...and she teaches, while I spin for my real job and umpire for my avocation.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by bkbjones

Quote:

I was the poli sci/history/journalism (yes, three) nerd...and she teaches, while I spin for my real job and umpire for my avocation.

How freakin' odd. I started out majoring in journalism, then changed my major to Pol Sci, found that with a couple of extra courses I could get a double major in history, so I did.

Hey, has anybody ever really seen bkbjones and Skahtboi in the same place at the same time?

Nah, I was in the wrong part of TX back when I lived down there...

There is a RIGHT part of TX?

Oh, now you've gone and done it.

You're gonna go to hell for that one............

....but he's already a yankee!

Sure.............other than the Mosquitoes, occasional hurricane.........it's here on the Gulf Coast.

We do however have great weather most of the year, wonderful fishing, goose and duck hunting, and can drive to most of this great State in 14 hours or less...........

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JEL

Quote:

Oh, now you've gone and done it. You're gonna go to hell for that one............ ....but he's already a yankee!

And that says it all! ;)

[Edited by Skahtboi on Dec 1st, 2005 at 12:57 PM]

NO, SIR! I have absolutely no travel plans taking me to Texico!

Actually, Ilived much of my life about 45 miles from Texico (NM)...but on the good side of the border (TX)

Aw, come on Mike. Let me take you back to my hometown, El Paso (or some of you call it; TEXICO).

Serg
(Sergio in TEXICO language)

You forgot to mention the oppressive humidity!

And about driving... the mile marker on I-10 (that's IH 10, to you Texans) as you enter TX in the east reads something like 989... that's a fair hike to El Paso!

As a former TX resident, with relatives still in the Gulf Coast region of TX and in the DFW metro, I can safely say that NEITHER OF THOSE are the right part of TX.

The thing about TX, is there is no right part, unless you also include time. The right part and time would be the hill country in spring.

Now, MN... This is God's country! ;)

Nothing like plenty of room to move around in. We sure don't want to get crowded like all those northern states have done.

Quote:

The right part and time would be the hill country in spring.

I certainly won't argue with that. However, have you ever spent any time in the Piney Woods, especially over by Caddo Lake? Real pretty (purty) country.

Quote:

Now, MN... This is God's country! ;)

Yeah....I've heard about those swarms of eagle sized mosquitoes that you have up there. :eek:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dakota
[B]Sorry Dakata, but I spent 6 years in North Dakota, and THAT was God's country! :)

Serg

MN state bird?

http://www.pca.state.mn.us/artwork/kids/mosquito2.gif

Just correcting your typo... ;)

My company has about 20 offices in New Mexico (Albuquerque, Alomogordo, Ruidoso, and Silver City most notably). We are currently going through a move to consolidate much of our operations and it looks like the division I work in will be moving from the Gulf Coast.

Dallas is the probable destination..............I was hoping if we had to move..........it would be one of the New Mexico locations.............but it does make sense to keep TX operations in Texas.

Joel

Just an aside for newbie if he is still reading. Since he thinks no one has any balls except for him. Thanks to Willie Newman for clarifying this.

Guts or balls

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below .

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?


BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the balls to say: You're next.

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject

Serg - finally got your chest protectors in.

Joel - look forward to having you in the Dallas area. Hope we can call some ball together some day soon.

Good one! Can you please e-mail me with the info so I may order my chest protector? Thanks,
Serg

Just eleven more days to go before Tom can put this thread to bed!

Got balls??
 

So, are you ALL ready to call the illegal pitchers yet or will you just keep wearing the blinders???

I am especially fond of the biting knats that we have up here. They come out at dusk to FEED.

Minnesota looks like a Christmas card today though, and that is very nice.

Joel - look forward to having you in the Dallas area. Hope we can call some ball together some day soon.




I am still under the hope that our Gulf Coast Group is so valuable that the company will choose NOT to move it...........

BUT........I am also not so naive to believe that it is not a probabillity that the move to Dallas won't happen......

I am getting too old to hunt for a new career again........

I have already retired once.........only to have to come back out of necessity............

If I do move however..............I know from what I have read from these boards that I will have some good contacts in the DFW area to rely on to get into umpiring..........

Joel

So, are you ALL ready to call the illegal pitchers yet or will you just keep wearing the blinders???


You still have not answered the question. Since you are the only umpire in the country who calls an illegal pitch - Why would anyone call illegal pitches when the college coaches recruit pitchers who pitch illegally and have them pitch illegally at the NCAA level.

Change pitching rules!
 

Great question! Why then, don't they, whomever the powers may be, CHANGE the pitching rules as they currently stand & make all the hopping/leaping legal, since they do it in the NCAA's, you are absolutely correct! Get on that one "guys"!


- Why would anyone call illegal pitches when the college coaches recruit pitchers who pitch illegally and have them pitch illegally at the NCAA level. [/B][/QUOTE]

I'll agree..Christmas cards are very nice to look at.

Especially while I am sitting next to my pool on a 75 degree, warm, sunny Phoenix afternoon in December!

:D

Andy sez
"I'll agree..Christmas cards are very nice to look at.

Especially while I am sitting next to my pool on a 75 degree, warm, sunny Phoenix afternoon in December!"

might get one of those cards signed with "byte me"

Can you hear the envy???????

Hell, y'all start the Christmas thing three weeks before Thanksgiving. I was disgusted driving to Phoenix on I-10 only to see all the shopping centers, casinos and other public areas decorated with Christmas lights, candy canes, etc. Santa Claus was already talking to kids in the Tucson Mall the second week of Nov.

For a traditionalist like myself, the commercialism is absurd.

BTW, we are in single digits now.

Just 9 days left!

Here, too, but with a "-" in front of the single digit! (Speaking overnight low - right now, we have reached a balmy +5!

What I want to know is where the heck is global warming when you need it???

needling noooooobeee
 

Since all the information you need to answer your silly question is alreay in this post, your question is obviously not serious, but only intended to get a response.

Here it is:

But I love money.
All money.
I've always wanted money.
To handle! To touch!
The smell of the rain-washed florin!
The lure of the lira!
The glitter and the glory of the guinea!
The romance of the ruble!
The feel of the franc!
The heel of the deutschmark!
The cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc!
And the sunburnt splendor of the Australian dollar!

(extra credit to anyone who knows the source of the above without doing a google search!)

I won't spoil it..............but it reminded me of another.............this might give a clue to some.......


M: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
R: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
M: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
M: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
M: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.
Pause
R: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
M: Thank you.

(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Q: Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to just stand...!!
Q: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!

(Walk down the corridor)
M: (Knock)
A: Come in.
M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
A: I told you once.
M: No you haven't.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't
A: I did!
M: You didn't!
A: I'm telling you I did!
M: You did not!!
A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M: No you did not.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't.
A: Did.
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!


Sound Familiar................;)

And now for something completely different.....





















....a larch.

I knew there was a reason I liked you, Joel!

Click here.

Dang it, you made me snort...and that was just from seeing what came up on the link.

You can keep your Marxist ways, for it's only just a phase...
Money, money, money makes the world go round!!!

Don't some of the IPs that you won't call remind you of the "Ministry of Silly Walks"?

Thanks for that Tom.............I had not seen that in quite some time..............still funny after all these years........... :)

Great Idea!
 

Great & honest post Ump John, you can ump for or with me any time...I too will call the hop/leap! Thanks!

STOP THE HOP!!!

STOP THE HOP!!!


We can't stop the hop. I grew up going to the hop at school. Kids are just now learning how much fun the hop is and the music to go with it. Take off your shoes, and "lets go to the hop"

Less than a week to go!!!

I see you "guys" can be rational at times! Good! Please check out the post started by Coach D called "Legal Pitch", I guess you can have an intelligent discussion after all! Nice to know, thanks!

Ah, hello. Well first of all I'd like to apologize for the behaviour of certain of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes, circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern improved British Navy. They are a small vociferous minority; and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, ...

And now for something completely different.


























A man with three buttocks.

Four days and a wake-up!!!!

Thank God it wasn't a leap year, or we'd have to wait an extra day!

What......nobody has yet marked this momentous day?!?!?

Fair warning: this thread is subject to being locked at or after 11:30 PM Dec 13th, 2005.

I'm making no promises as to stay up till then to actually do the deed, ... but, I might!

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry


Joel

I'll toast this post with a rather large helping of...

<b>SPAM!</b>

That appears to be 9:30pm PST.

On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Tom,

Don't strain yourself here. All us old guys need our sleep.

Wait until tomorrow morning after your orange juice and spam, then lock this sucker.

While your are at it, is it possible to lock up the recent trolls in this thread? Nevermind, the thread doesn't deserve it! :)

I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.


Now, let's see... who wants to quote the NEXT line? :D

That's why I jumped in early.................grin

Joel

[QUOTE]Originally posted by IRISHMAFIA

Quote:

Originally posted by Dakota All us old guys need our sleep. Wait until tomorrow morning after your orange juice and spam, then lock this sucker.

US old guys??? ;)

Besides, your guess at what I eat for breakfast shows how much you know. I don't even like orange juice! :)

I still want to know why none of us will call Crow Hopping except newbie.

(I just can't let this go after only a year)

630 something here on the Left Coast, and it's still going, and I still feel the same way I do before this thread started, and nothing here has convinced me to do anything different.

so...I am going to eat a Ranch Burger, onion rings and strawberry shake and celebrate this momentous day!

Shall we try and make it two years?

Its Joel's turn......:D

Happy New Year!!!!!
 

Just wanted to add my two cents to this special occasion and wish all a Happy CHNC(crow hop is never called) New Year. To celebrate the occassion, my fellow umpires and I counted down the seconds 3...2...1... with our left arms extended, and shouted ILLEGAL PITCH. We toasted with, well, beer and threw one down and told some war stories. I for one will be making a New Year's resolution to call more illegal pitches, whether or not I actually see them, in 02 CHNC (also known as 2006 AD). I wonder if any of you will be working hard at New Year's resolutions as well?

Come on Wade. You shouldn't go making New Year's resolutions like that. You know that you are only going to break it, since, as newb has so eloquently stated dozens of times already, we never call it anyway. ;)

Though I must admit, I really admire your resolve. :D

Oh...and only 364 more days to go!!!!

Well, in spite of the optimism expressed by a few to try for 2 years, and because of the fact that at least one alleged person (or was that a troll) took this thread waaaayyyy too seriously, and hoping someone will start another nonsense thread, or at least give me another excuse to quote John Cleese and the rest of the Monty Python gang, this thread is now closed.

RIP, CHNC.

[Edited by Dakota on Dec 14th, 2005 at 12:35 PM]

Oh, one last PS... it does seem appropriate that this thread ended on page 13.

[Edited by Dakota on Dec 14th, 2005 at 12:35 PM]