Rule supplement 9 clearly states if a defensive player approaches the dugout and gets instruction it is considered a charged conference.

NCAA (not that its relevant):

DC, used her 1 conference for the inning, calls time to come out for a friendly conversation about the lack of strikes being called by me. After being told by me that the pitches in question are not crossing any part of the plate, DC transfers her conversation to her catcher to get her opinion.

At which time I tell her that she's about to be ejected. For having a 2nd conference.

Should've ejected her for showing me up like that, but held back.

Fuzzy. RS #9:
A defensive charged conference occurs when the defense requests a suspension of play for any reason...
Next sentence does state:
Should a defensive player approach the dugout and receive instructions, this is considered a defensive conference.

What's not clear to me is if the request for the suspension of play applies to the second sentence.

Mid-inning the sun pops thru the clouds and F9 requests time to get her sunglasses from the bench. F5 gets the glasses from the bench where the coach tells F5 to tell F9 to not play so deep. You gonna charge a conference for that?

Not stopping the game for that

Well, I'll probably grant the request and not charge a conference. I might not if it happens multiple times, but a 38 second delay won't ruin my dinner plans.

Did you give her the warning for stopping play to question judgment calls? I know we're supposed to be judicious with that formal warning, but calling time to complain about the strike zone is a textbook example.