VERBAL ABUSE FROM PARENT

[WAYNE]

DURING A WEEKEND BANTAM GAME I WAS TOLD THAT I WOULD BE KILLED BY TWO OF THE PARENTS OF THE HOME TEAM . MY ON ICE PARTNER AND I HAD TO BE ESCORTED FROM THE ARENA AN HOUR AFTER THE GAME . WHAT WOULD YOU FELLA'S SUGGEST I DO ??

[greymule]

Wayne, I am a regular on officiating.com in baseball and softball, but this is the first hockey post I have viewed.

I don't think I'll consider getting into refereeing hockey.

[JBLewallen]

Wayne,

Contact your assignor as well as the governing body for the league. Also, write down everything that led up to this situation as well as everything that was said verbatim. Forward a copy of that to your assignor as well as keeping a copy for yourself. If that's an ongoing problem within the league, your association has many options. If it's a "one-time" problem, perhaps they can resolve the situation with a phone call or a meeting.

Good luck
Brad

[jicecone]

I agree with Brad. What ever you do though, don't let it get put under the carpet. follow it up until some time of action is taken. Even if it is only a resolution over the phone.

When I officiated in NY, on Long Island, parents would be suspended from attending games for such actions. Mabey not just for a one time occurence however, the reports were kept on file and suspensions were given out for repeated abusers.

Good Luck and make sure to follow up on it.

[WAYNE]

THANKS FOR THE INPUT GUYS. I HAVE FILED CHARGES AGAINST THE TWO INDIVIDUALS WHO MADE THE DEATH THREATS.AMAZINGLY THE ASSOCIATION WHERE THIS TOOK PLACE HAS SUSPENDED ME. NOT TO WORRY THOUGH OUR ZONE PRESIDENT HAS DEMANDED THAT THEY LIFT ALL SANCTIONS AGAINST ME OR RISK A BOYCOTT OF ALL REFS IN THIS ZONE THUS SHUTTING DOWN ALL HOCKEY GAMES IN THAT ASSOCIATION. JUST THOUGHT I WOULD UPDATE YOU ALL THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT.

[WAYNE]

JUST ANOTHER UPDATE FOR YOU ALL.

THIS ISSUE IS STILL NOT RESOLVED AFTER ALL THIS TIME I AM STILL SUSPENDED FROM CERTAIN GAMES IN MY HOME ASSOCIATION AND OTHER RESTRICTIONS HAVE BEEN PLACED ON ME AS WELL.THE WHOLE MESS HAS BEEN FORWARDED TO OUR PROVINCIAL REFEREE IN CHIEF .

I DONT HOLD MUCH HOPE ANYMORE FOR A GOOD RESOLUTION, IT SEEMS ALL ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN IS PROTECTING THEMSELVES FROM A LAWSUIT BY THE INDIVIDUALS WHO THREATENED ME.ITS VERY STRANGE WHEN THE POLICE SAID THERE WAS AMBLE EVIDENCE TO PLACE CHARGES AND HAVE DONE SO. YET OUR PROVINCIAL ASSOCIATION AND THE LOCAL ASSOCIATION WILL DO NOTHING ABOUT THE OFFENDING PARTY. RESTRICTING ME HOWEVER DOES NOT SEEM TO BE A WORRY I AM TOLD THIS IS FOR MY SAFETY? IT SEEMS TO ME IF THEY WERE CONCERNED FOR MY SAFETY THEY WOULD PLACE RESTRICTIONS ON THE PEOPLE WHO WERE CHARGED WITH UTTERING DEATH THREATS.

I WILL TRY TO KEEP YOU ALL UP TO DATE ON WHAT GOES ON IN THE COMING MONTHS .THE INDIVIDUALS WHO WERE CHARGED HAVE HAD TWO COURT DATES SO FAR AND HAVE PLEADED INNOCENT BOTH TIMES AND HAVE ASKED FOR A CONTINUENCE THE CASE HAS BEEN HELD OVER, DONT KNOW WHEN THE NEW COURT DATE WILL BE HELD.

THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGING EMAILS I RECIEVED FROM SOME OF YOU


REGARDS

[AndyO]

Well, that's terrible.

I have never had anything that bad occur with me, but I would not take it.

This seems to be another case of "The officials go solo." Meaning absolutely no support from your association.

Referees should NEVER be suspended, and that is completely, strictly against the rules!

As long as you did nothing (no swearing, no talking back, etc.) they have absolutely no right to do this.

If I were you, in this same situation I would go above everyone else. Don't just go to your assignor, or your R-I-C. Don't even go to the Provincial RIC! Go straight to the head office. If you're in the CHA contact Willy Saari. If in the USAH conact Matt Leaf. These two gentlemen will help you out with your concerns.

Explain to them your situation, why you were suspended, and why you desperately need their help! If they don't help, I would go to the IIHF.

What you could do, is leave the association and file a law suit against them for suspending you, disallowing you from receiving any kind of pay.

You paid for a clinic, you paid for your sweater, helmets, pants, and everything else...so you have a right to be officiating this season.

The association should be supporting you, and if they do not, find someone that will (i.e.: your partner from that game).

Andy

[slimjym]

It seems somewhat wrong that you've been suspended because of the actions of parents. I'm glad to see that people higher up the food chain than the association are backing you. It's important for officials to know they have support, and it appears to me that your home association isn't offering that support
Hope this works out for you!