Letterman's Top 10 Referee Excuses

mikesears · #1 (**permalink**) Fri Jan 17, 2003, 01:11pm

From "Late Night With David Letterman":

Top Ten NFL Referee Explanations

10. "I swallowed my whistle"

9. "Calling penalties isn't my strong suit -- I'm more of a coin toss guy"

8. "Who cares? It's best-of-seven, right?"

7. "Not actually a referee, I'm just a guy who works at Foot Locker"

6. "It's a classic joke and all that, but some of us really do have severe vision problems and need corrective lenses"

5. "In a very roundabout way, we were trying to put pressure on North Korea"

4. "Not that it's an excuse, but I suffer from acid reflux"

3. "It's all part of God's plan, and God doesn't like the Giants"

2. "I don't know...the fog?"

1. "Spent pre-game tailgating with Diana Ross"

bluezebra · #2 (**permalink**) Fri Jan 17, 2003, 02:03pm

Letterman's 10-lists are the most un-funny things I've ever seen. Now that he's going after football officials, he shows his ignorance as well as his un-funniness.

8. "Who cares? It's best-of-seven, right?"

Hey dum-dum, that's in baseball.

Bob

4 Sport Official · #3 (**permalink**) Fri Jan 17, 2003, 02:46pm

This was written by Bill Scheft, who also writes for Sports Illustrated, and recently had one of the funniest sports jokes that I have heard.

With the rash of firings of NFL head coaches at the end of the regular season, the biggest suprise has been who has not been fired. Primarily, Marty Morningweg (sp?) of the Detroit Lions, who recently announced that with his first round draft pick next year, he will be passing on Carson Palmer and selecting the wind.

JMN · #4 (**permalink**) Fri Jan 17, 2003, 03:49pm

How about some others:

11. I'm dsylexic and thought ineligible #61 was eligible number #16! (although he did look rather large)

12. I was using "GAME SENSE"! That's better than the rules!

13. (umpire in Pitt-Tenn game) I had the stomach flu and had to get to the locker room (if you know what I mean). There was NO WAY I was going to call a timeout!

14. We're part-time employees!! We only need to get most of the calls right!

15. Excuse me, but I need to get back to my Burger King job where Coach Cower can come in and "Have it his way".

HighSchoolWhiteHat · #5 (**permalink**) Sat Jan 18, 2003, 07:55am

I thought letters top 10 were funny, Its a joke guys take it for what it is. If you can't take it , maybe you should rethink about what youre doing on a football field. Because coaches abuse us all the time. Is this how you respond?

ABoselli · #6 (**permalink**) Sat Jan 18, 2003, 12:11pm

I thought it was funny as well. You see, bluezebra, the best of seven thing was the joke there.

Lighten up, Francis.

JimNayzium · #7 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 20, 2003, 09:30pm

Hey guys, havent checked boards since xmas....i think the best of seven was the joke....once again i am with boselli, scary eh?....not thinking letterman is funny is one strike against you zebra, but not pretending to think he is funny when making fun of your own profession reveals the true insides of types of refs that i get annoyed by....i take personal pride in my ribbing being at least whitty, penalty or not...i make people/refs laugh.....

James Neil · #8 (**permalink**) Mon Jan 20, 2003, 09:57pm

Quote:

Originally posted by JimNayzium
Hey guys, havent checked boards since xmas....i think the best of seven was the joke....once again i am with boselli, scary eh?....not thinking letterman is funny is one strike against you zebra, but not pretending to think he is funny when making fun of your own profession reveals the true insides of types of refs that i get annoyed by....i take personal pride in my ribbing being at least whitty, penalty or not...i make people/refs laugh.....

AGREE !