Youth "Coaches" or the Guy That Watches My Kid While I Go Shopping

[booker227]

Worse situation? Three season ago, our three man crew was trapped and surrounded for fourty-five minutes in a parking lot by a a large mob of parents, coaches, and players who believed we lost the game for them. They lost by three touchdowns. The state patrol had to be called, and only then were we allowed to leave.
But, the really bad ones are the male coaches for girl's fast pitch softball. They're nuts!

[parepat]

Originally posted by booker227
Worse situation? Three season ago, our three man crew was trapped and surrounded for fourty-five minutes in a parking lot by a a large mob of parents, coaches, and players who believed we lost the game for them. They lost by three touchdowns. The state patrol had to be called, and only then were we allowed to leave.
But, the really bad ones are the male coaches for girl's fast pitch softball. They're nuts!

Well, can you blame them. Due the incompetence of the officials their children will not be getting the eight inch trophy. Instead, they will be getting a tiny six inch trophy. Add that to the damage to the self esteem of the parents and coaches who live vicariously through the athletic performance of their seven year olds, and you have a recipe for disaster. Now, maybe you'll think twice before you "screw over" that team again.

[ChrisSportsFan]

"but i will also say that some of the refs out there are only there to make the extra buck and could care less about communicating with any coach or player.”

I don’t officiate football but do a ton of basketball and I work youth games all year long, even during the HS season if I have the time. I know a lot of guys who do it to make extra money but I don’t know anyone who does it JUST for the money. This is a mentality that coaches and parents presume but none of us want to go out there and embarrass ourselves.

“case in point happened a couple of games ago. at the end of the game we finally found a pass play that was gaining good yardage for us and we were moving the ball quite well. after an incomplete pass with 3 seconds still left on the clock, the head official refused to spot the ball and let the clock run down, again after an incomplete pass.”

You were there and I wasn’t so you know better. However, are you sure there was 3 seconds left? Are you sure you know all the facts here?

“it is officials like this that make some of the coaches act the way they do.”

Again, this is another mentality amongst coaches. IMO, we are all responsible for our own actions. Whatever happened to teaching good sportsmanship no matter what? I understand though…..we live in an “it isn’t my fault society”, and you shouldn’t be held responsible for your own actions.

“being both a youth coach and an official has taught me when i can open my mouth and how far i can take a discussion before i cross the line. and there are times when i get real close to that line,”

Why even get close to the line? Besides, who set the standard for that line that day? Not to sound arrogant but if you coached in one of my basketball games, you’d learn real quick that your line is very close to you. Coaches are there to coach and not to worry about what I’m doing.

“but i always have the respect for the officials that i would expect to be given by a coach if i were the one with the whistle. granted not all of them deserve it, but i still show them the respect.”

You already said it yourself “I myself have gotten that way on more than one occasion this year, and have been flagged for it.”

one of the first things i tell the officials who actually have a pregame conference with me is that i just want my kids to have a fair shot at playing,

I bet this really gets things off to a good start. Sheesh!

“and most after hearing that show me, as a coach, a little more respect. we are all (both coaches and officials) out there to teach the game to the players, and should think of that first and foremost.”

That’s because you already told them you’ll be watching to make sure they don’t cheat your team.

Coach, please take the time to reread my comments to your comments. Officials are people to. The reason we get into officiating, whatever the sport, is because we love the game and we want to support the kids. Then we find out that we can get paid too. If you knew how much money some of us spend on uniforms and equipment plus going to camps to get better, you’d rethink the comments about we do this for the money. I will agree that there probably are a few of them but I have not run across them yet.

[MIcoach]

first off, i am an official too and i know what we have to go through both on and off the field to be succesful.

yes there were 3 seconds left, i am positive in that. the official said he would not stop the clock because he wanted to go home. i tried to talk to him about it after the game, and he refused to answer any of my questions. i wasnt beligerant about it, or irrate, just confused and would have liked to have an explanation as to why he let it run down.

as a coach, i have to answer to the parents when they question things like that. alot of parents were irrate at this and even more so when i told them he would not answer me as to why. they all wrote letters to the league and head official about this and many other instances in our game and others pertaining to this official.

you are taking my comment about some officials making coaches act the way they do out of context. i agree, we are responsible for out actions, both coaches and officials. and it is both of us that have to teach the kids sportsmanship, but when refs are yelling at players telling them they wont call penalties and belittling them, then i have a problem and try to find out what is going on and how i can help to fix the situation before it escalates. as an official i always try to communicate with the coaches if they have a question, and i will explain why i did something. they dont always like or agree with the answer, but if it is a judgement call then they have no argument and i make it clear to them that they cant question my judgement. if it is an interpretation that is different.

yes i get irrate, as a coach you would to, it is human nature, and things happen in the heat of the moment. but i have learned when i need to just walk away and let it be. or i will talk to another official and see if he can get something for me to understand so a situation doesnt arrise.

crossing the line...

again, it is human nature in competition to get to that line whether you are an official or not.

getting a fair shot at playing..
if you were to see the league we play in, then you would understand that statement was not meant towards the officials in a negative way. some of the opposing coaches are there to get that undefeated season, or to beat the weak teams by big numbers. case in point, in our second game of the season we lost 40-0. the opposing coach threw passes, and pulled out every trick play in his book in the last 2 minutes of the game. one of the officials finaly came over and told me that they would not let them get in the endzone again (after asking the other coach why he wants to embarrass anyone like that). is that right for an official to do? no, but most officials dont like to see any youth sport get so lopsided that one team walks off the field with no desire or love for the sport. after that game all the officials made it a point to come over and congradulate my team for a great game, and really made the kids feel positive about it. and i appreciated that.

you can take my comments for what you want, but they are not meant to bash any of the officials out there in the way that you are taking it. yes i have a problem with this one official, but he in my opinion is a differnt story.

[Ed Hickland]

Wake up coaches!!!

A few years ago I was on Court TV with Judge Catherine Crier where I equated officials with judges and asked, "do you hit the judge if you don't like the decision." Catherine replied, "I've had to duck a few times."

Officials represent authority. The decisions they make are the final word. The decisions are based upon judgement, hopefully, solid judgement, like them are not.

So many coaches play a game where they try to influence that judgement and too often weaker officials will succumb to the game.

The line should be the first step toward disrespect. Show ANY disrespect and you are gone. To the bus, period.

But officials let coaches walk the thin gray line and many coaches fall onto the wrong side. Then it is time to blame the officials.

Just last week I ended a youth game when the second coach I ejected refused to leave. All game long these coaches lived on the sideline making it diffuclt to cover plays on that sideline. Needless to say has the reality of the fact they were losing set in the more obnoxious they became until they fell well across the line.

Is this the type of behavior any coach wants to demonstrate to these youngsters? Shouldn't you accept the calls of the officials without dispute? Shouldn't you accept the loss as something you have control over and not take your anger out on the officials?

Offcials should expect total respect from coaches and in turn they should totally respect the coaches. No official ever appears in the scoring column. There may be "bad" calls but some of the play calls coaches make are bad but you don't see referee berating coaches for those calls.

Bottom line, coaches we expect nothing more or nothing less than you to act like gentlemen and show your players good sportsmanship regardless of the score.

[Edited by Ed Hickland on Nov 18th, 2005 at 03:14 PM]

[dave30]

I am a basketball referee. I have done all levels from youth league to high school. I have been threatened to the point of calling the police three times in fifteen years. Every single one of them were in youth league games! Some of these parents are complete idiots and deserve no respect from me. I do it because I like kids....period. I like to see the young kids have fun and develop their skills. After one particularly bad parent game, I was about ready to quit for good (I think it was my second year of officiating),,,when this 12 yr old boy came up to me and said he wanted to apologize for the actions of his dad and he thought we called a good game. This put it in perspective for me.

[ChrisSportsFan]

Originally posted by dave30
I am a basketball referee. I have done all levels from youth league to high school. I have been threatened to the point of calling the police three times in fifteen years. Every single one of them were in youth league games! Some of these parents are complete idiots and deserve no respect from me. I do it because I like kids....period. I like to see the young kids have fun and develop their skills. After one particularly bad parent game, I was about ready to quit for good (I think it was my second year of officiating),,,when this 12 yr old boy came up to me and said he wanted to apologize for the actions of his dad and he thought we called a good game. This put it in perspective for me.

I also officiate basketball and it seems that (to put it blunt) the younger the players, the dumber the parents. Most of the parents are great and they appreciate what we're doing out there. It's those few idiots that spoil it for everyone. Last January, I had a parent removed from the gym for dropping F-bombs during a Saturday morning 8th grade game. He started to walk on the floor when game management told him it's time to go and I thought....here we go. However he walked out and every single parent in the gym stood and clapped. They said this guy acts similar every single game and I was the first to do something about it. Also had several Dads who said they were ready to tackle him if he came any closer.